Of course, I followed him.
He was already on Dorin. “Dorin, fucking talk some sense into her.”
Cezar didn’t usually mind my insanity. Half the time, he encouraged it. This reaction, though, was desperate.
“I can’t talk her out of shit, and you know that,” Dorin said, hands raised. “We’ll be careful. And yeah, they’re your father’s men, but it’s not like they’re important.”
Cezar rubbed his hands over his head, pacing the room, while Dorin bailed.
“Cezar, everything will be fin—”
“Stop, Lina.” He spun toward me. “You don’t know that. Why do you even want this? Whatever this is?” His chest rose and fell too fast. “I get it—you clawed your way up, you want that power for whatever revenge you seek, and you earned it. But you don’t want to be part of the Crimson Roses, no matter how much power they have. You don’t.”
The anger boiled inside me. “Power? That’s what you think this is about?”
He knew he fucked up. “Talk to me then, Lina, I have no idea what is going on in that head of yours. Don’t you think I deserve a little more than you give me? Help me understand why wecan’t just leave now.” His voice was strained, and he wouldn’t stop moving.
“Everything I’ve done… my parents…” My voice trembled despite how hard I fought it. “I can’t let their deaths be in vain.”
Take back what belonged to us.
“Your parents would be proud, Petal,” he breathed, the anger softening into pleading, “but they’d also want you to live. To be safe. To be happy. Don’t you think?”
“That will all have to wait.”
“Do you actually want to be part of the Crimson Roses? Because you don’t. You fucking don’t, Lina. Please… you know how this ends.” He went to grab my hand, but I backed away.
I do know how it ends—with Viktor dead. I am the fucking Crimson Roses.
He looked like he wanted to cry. I wasn’t sure if it was because I had fled from his touch or because I was putting myself in harm’s way with his father’s people. Either way, it wasn’t his choice.
“I’m begging you,” he whispered. “Talk to me. Whatever you’re planning, I can help. Let me help. And if it isn’t that, then are you… trying to surpass them? Grow bigger? You can. I know you can. But my father will kill you before you get that far.” Cezar stepped toward me.
He could fucking try to kill me.
“Just stop talking. Just—shut up.”
The noise, the spiraling, the pressure—everything was feeding the panic. The last thing I needed before a mission was to fall apart. And he was the only person who could sway me. Which was exactly why he needed to stop.
“You won’t fucking listen,” he snapped, “you’re too deep into all of thi—”
“Well, maybeyouare too fucking obedient.”
The noise stopped. I might as well have beaten him like his father.
Dorin shouted my name from somewhere behind me. “We have to leave Lina. Now.”
I used that as an out, an escape from this moment. I didn’t want to deal with what I just said to Cezar.
Chapter 59
CEZAR
Why did everything always go to shit? I hated being in this godforsaken place. All I wanted were those moments with Lina—those rare, fragile seconds when the world finally shut up. But there I was, fucking it all up again. I had never seen her that angry. I deserved every bit of it.
She was right; I am too fucking obedient. I should’ve gone with her.
My phone wouldn’t stop ringing. I pulled it out, expecting Codrin, but seeing Dorin’s name instead made my stomach drop.
