I remember grabbing my own backpack, which got caught up and chasing after her, but I wouldn’t have even known where to begin. For starters, I had no idea what car she drove, and I didn’t even know where she lived. Hell, I don’t even know her, so I don’t understand why I was fine chasing after her to make sure she was okay.
Since then, I’ve seen her a total of three times, but each time I made a move to talk with her, she disappeared from me. Was it me? Did I do something wrong? I always have a way of fucking things up, even if I don’t realize I’m doing it.
Nina’s phone vibrates on the table, she picks it up and a worried look flashes across her face. Excusing herself, she hurries out of her chair and answers the call.
Watching as she walks away, I wait until she’s out of sight before turning my attention toward Hunter. “Are you two fucking?” I decide not to beat around the bush.
Theo glances at me, his eyes bulging from their sockets and I shrug at him. What? He’s the one who said they looked flustered, and I want details as to why.
“What? No.” Hunter responds, his voice filled with confusion.
“Theo mentioned that when he walked into your room earlier, you both looked ratherflustered.” I wiggle my brows.
Theo kicks me under the table when Hunter glares at him, and I smirk at him. “Dude!” He hisses under his breath.
“Alright,” Hunter sighs, resting his elbows on the table and rubbing his temple with his fingers. “We kissed, is that what you wanted to hear?”
“Again?” Chase smirks from beside me.
Gasping, my eyes widen. “What do you mean,again?” I glance at Chase, he in return shrugs and takes a huge bite of his pizza.
“How many times have you kissed her?” Theo swivels in his chair to face Hunter.
“Twice.” He confesses.
“Twice?” I squeak, my eyes blinking in disbelief. “When was the first time?”
“After their first date.” Chase’s voice is muffled by the pizza he’s chewing.
Date? What the… “You went on a date?” I hiss, my voice low so Nina doesn’t hear. “You mean to tell me that you—” I point to him. “Voluntarilywent on a date withoutanyform of bribery from me?”
“Yes.”
I repeat,what the fuck?
“When the fuck did you go on a date?” Theo blows out a breath.
Before Hunter can reply, Nina makes her entrance back into the room. Her and Hunter whisper to each other, and I sit there staring at them, blinking in slow motion.
A date. A fucking date. What the hell?
I’d grown up not really knowing who I was, or where I came from. In high school I was too focused on my future with furthering my career in hockey and trying to make it out of the group home in one piece to worry about dating, so it was the last thing on my mind.
But once I made it out of the group home and got a scholarship at Riverside State for hockey, I had time to explore something I’d never experienced before, and that was dating.
I wanted to find someone I connected with on a personal level, someone who’d love me, who wouldn’t care about my past. I wanted someone to see me forme, and not just some hotshot hockey player. Because I was more than that. Iammore than that.
After a series of dates that went terribly, it led to me forcing the guys to go on double dates with me in hopes thatmaybethey’d be better. Chase would always tell me to fuck off when I asked, and Theo would conveniently not be there when I needed someone. So, that meant I had to bribe Hunter to come with me every single time.
But every date I seemed to go on didn’t feel right. I never found a girl who made my heart skip a beat, who made butterflies flutter in my stomach, or even made me think about a future together.
The girls I went on dates with never cared about my dreams, my struggles, or who I was beyond the ice. It was disheartening to realize that they only saw me as a potential star athlete, not as a person with a past, and a heart.
That’s why at twenty-one years old, I’m still a virgin. I haven’t even kissed a girl before. Don’t get me wrong, I had plenty of times I could’ve done all of it, but I knew the second I saw those girls on those dates that they only wanted me for one thing, and one thing only. And I wasn’t going to objectify myself for them.
I respected myself and them too much to just get my dick out and fuck them. Plus, I didn’t want to be another notch in their belt to brag about. Another trophy for them to flaunt. I wanted it to mean something.
I think I wanted something I never had growing up, and that was love. Someone who’ll be there for me no matter what, someone who’ll understand me. Someone who’ll comfort me when I’m feeling down. I wanted someone who saw past everything, who truly saw me. But unfortunately, that’s not how life turned out for me.
