“Look at you being honest,” I note.But also, what the heck is that supposed to mean?And is it hot in here?It feels hot in here.
The heat of his outer thigh seeps through my jeans, making me oh so aware of every inch where his body touches mine.I’ve never felt like this before.With anyone.
He hasn’t found someone who makes him want to take on the boyfriend role.Does that include the present?As in, right now?Me and him?Am I completely misreading the situation?Or am I so turned on by the idea of fucking him that we’re going in circles and I’m making connections that don’t exist?
“You want honesty, June Bug?”The question kisses my cheeks along with his warm breath.
My head bobs in the tiniest of nods.We’re so close.He’sso close.
“Been dreaming about what these lips would taste like since the moment we met.”The gap closes even more as he moves nearer until finally, his lips skate across mine, putting me out of my misery.
It’s softer than I expect.It really is only a taste.Like he’s taking his time.Testing.Savoring.No tongue.Just two pairs of barely parted lips, connecting like a couple of puzzle pieces, and boy, do we fit.My eyelids flutter, and I return his kiss, my own reservations restraining me from deepening the kiss, no matter how curious I am.Even if I refuse to admit it out loud, he isn’t the only one who’s thought about this.About what it would be like to give in.To kiss Ford Harden.To be the person he comes to.The person he’s honest with.The person he trusts.Something burrows in my chest, igniting inside of me and spurring me on.I tease the tip of my tongue against his bottom lip, careful not to hurt him on the off chance his mouth might’ve taken a hit during the fight, and I just can’t see the ache underneath.
Instead of pulling away, the innocent skate of my tongue against him pulls a quiet groan, and his fingertips press harder into my skin.It’s like he’s holding himself back.And all I want him to do is give in completely.
“June!”Bryan yells from the hallway outside Ford’s bedroom.I jerk away from Ford as if I’ve been electrocuted.
Holy…holy crap.What did I just do?What didwejust do?Is the door locked?Did I lock it?I wouldn’t have.Would I?Maybe subconsciously, I came in here knowing what would happen.Or maybe?—
“Not your boyfriend, huh?”Ford murmurs.His voice is low and gravelly and directly attached to my throbbing clit.
I lick my lips, caught between a rock and a hard place and logic and lust and morals and....“I should go,” I whisper.
“Of course, you should.”His hand drops to his lap as the walls go back up.It’s like he’s cutting me off from the real Ford all over again, and I don’t like it.I don’t like it one bit.
Did I really just kiss Ford?And did Bryan really just interrupt said kiss?How did things become so…messy?And how do I clean this up?
Bryan’s footsteps disappear, sounding like he’s headed back downstairs.
My shoulders hunch in relief until I peek back at Ford.
“Run along now, June Bug.”His Adam’s apple bobs.“Hate to keep your boyfriend waiting.”
23
JUNE
Okay, so kissing Ford Harden is probably not the smartest thing I've ever done.Not that I’ve done a lot of stupid things in my life.I’m way too much of an over-thinker for that kind of thing, but still.Kissing Ford while a really nice—and on paper practically perfect—guy is waiting for me is wrong.I know it.And Ford knew it, too.Bryan deserves better than this.Than a girl who doesn’t want to commit because she’s too busy fantasizing about what it would be like to truly connect with the infamous Ford Harden.
I should’ve never gone upstairs.Yes, he was clearly hurting and needed someone to check on him, but it shouldn’t have been me.I knew better, yet I still did it.Talk about taking a precarious situation and making it so much worse.Why did I have to kiss him?Why did he have to be such a good kisser?Why couldn't it have felt like I was making out with my brother so I could finally lay to rest whatever strange attraction I have with Ford Harden?But no, instead, he had to kiss like his mouth had a direct line to my ovaries, blowing my mind and every previous experience I’ve had with the opposite sex into smithereens.And it was only a freaking kiss!And not even a deep, earth-shattering one.It was soft and sweet and magnetic in a way a simple kiss has no right to be.
Nope.No one will ever live up to the magic of Ford’s mouth, and that is an issue on so many levels.
It was a kiss.It was only a kiss.I bite my bottom lip in hopes of erasing the memory, but it only amplifies the lingering tingles.
I am in so much trouble.
“Hey, you good?”Bryan’s hand envelops my knee as he drives me home.I stare at it.His hand.It’s warm.Calloused.His fingernails are trimmed short, and a light dusting of hair runs along the backs of his knuckles.After I bolted from Ford’s bedroom like it was haunted, I ran into Bryan and faked a stomach bug.He didn’t question it, and the best part?He also hasn’t tried to kiss me on the off chance I’m contagious.If that isn’t a win, I don’t know what is.Now, if I could focus on what the heck I’m going to do now that I know what real chemistry feels like, no matter how unrealistic it is that I’ll ever feel it again, that’d be great.
“June?”
I look up at him.“What?”
“I said, are you good?”
Am I good?Well, I just kissed Ford, so there’s that.I lick my lips, praying it’ll do a better job of taking away the ghost of Ford’s mouth still haunting me than when I’d bitten my bottom lip.Nope.That doesn’t work, either.I can still feel it.The gentle pressure.
I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand.“I’m fine.”
