They would’ve either loved each other or hated each other, with no middle ground.
“Do you think we could get away with murder?” asked Juliette, pulling her blond hair into a half ponytail. “Just a small one.”
“Probably,” I replied with a reassuring smile.
She laughed, knowing I wasn’t serious. Of course not. Though if anyonecouldget away with murder, it would be a gardener. We knew how to bury things and keep them hidden.
“I just—I should’ve known,” she said with a sigh. “IleftNew York to escape all my bad decisions, but they just seem to follow me.”
“That can’t be true.”
In reply, she pointed to a guy at the other end of the bar and said, “Jerry, thirty-seven. Refuses to compromise on anything—and I meananything.” Then she pointed over at the two men playing pool. “And that guy over there in the red beanie is Mike with the Mustache, not to be confused with Michael with the Mustache, but both of them pretty much want the same kind of girl.”
“Oh?”
“The kind that doesn’t exist,” she intoned dryly. “Good at cooking and small talk, bad at caring when they slip up on the wholemonogamousthing. I guess all the Mikes—even they’s—have that in common,” she added bitterly.
All three of the guys looked about the same—tall, broad shouldered, white, smelling vaguely of lumberjack plaid and art school debt. And the ones whoweren’tsmelling like oil paints and 35-mm film came from fishing families, and when the catches dried up in the sea they learned how to fish on land.
There were only about five hundred people in the town limits, and most of those townsfolk were proud card-carrying AARP members and delighted in early-bird specials. So I couldn’t blame Juliette for absconding to a place like this; it was the perfect haven for someone with men-adjacent troubles.
Except, of course, there were still men.
“I’m open to poly, you know? But just, like,tellme,” she said with a disappointed sigh.
“Well, that’s unfortunate for them,” I said. “You’re a catch.”
“I’m gullible, and easy to trust, and naive.” She counted them on her fingers like they were faults.
“And you’re hardworking and brilliant and competent—things peoplewishedthey could be,” I pointed out, glancing back at the men playing pool. They didn’t look remarkable at all. But Juliette didn’t seem like the type of person to cry over a man after two dates. “You’re not just upset about the dentist, are you? What’s wrong?”
She took a gulp of beer, as if to steel herself for the answer. “He’s getting married.”
“Um.Myke?”
“Rob. My ex,” she added, quieter. “We’d been on and off for the last few years until I finally … told him I couldn’t do it anymore. Date him until he got bored, just to be there for him again when he missed me. I moved up here to escape all of that, but even hundreds of miles away, I can’t escape him. And now seeing that he’s gettingmarried …” She pursed her lips together tightly, as if the word were bitter. “I wonder if I’m, like, the problem.”
“You aren’t.”
“You’re sweet,” she replied. “I wish I could be more like you.”
I gave a start, turning on my barstool to her. “What—why?” I was a mess. A wreck.
“Because, like, you’re so cool. Nothing bothers you, not even the goose! I feel like all I ever do is talk about men to you, and I feel so silly. It’s, like,obsessive, you know? But you’ve never talked about anyone.” As she said it, her eyebrows fur-rowed and she frowned. “You actuallynevertalk about anyone.”
I shrugged, though my chest felt tight. I hoped the discomfort didn’t show on my face. “I don’t have much to talk about.”
“That can’t be true.”
I forced a laugh. “Why not?”
“Because you’re too brilliant, and sometimes you look too sad.”
“Wow,toosad?”
On the mic, Wykofski introduced their next song—“Story of My Life”—which felt a little on the nose for the moment. He turned the pop song into a sort of bluesy introspection. In another life, I’m sure he could’ve made a pretty great folk musician. I wondered why he hadn’t in this one.
“You know, I’m a great listener,” she went on with a kind smile, one that made me feel ashamed to hide so much from her. “I’m, like, really good at it, actually. Some say I’m the best.”
