He raised his hand to his mouth and coughed.
Jo’s pulse quickened. “Yes?”
“Could I have more water?”
Her heart dropped, but she took his glass and refilled it. As he drank, she studied him. He looked like he was at a crossroads. Maybe it was being back with his family, visiting his brother’s grave, or sleeping in the house where he grew up.
A thought occurred to her.
Was he getting up the courage to ask her an important question?
That question?
Of course she loved him. As upset as she’d been when he hadn’t returned after determining his mother was fine, Jo had to admit that she still loved him.
No one else had ever come close. She loved him even though his resistance to commitment had kept them in a holding pattern for years.
But that didn’t mean she had to sacrifice herself for him.
In truth, she’d also resisted this relationship. She didn’t want to be her mother. Jo had watched that wreckage up close. She’d promised herself she’d never rush into a relationship or settle for less. But she was in her thirties now.
She’d seen another friend go through IVF and come out the other side with a beautiful little girl. The window she’d always told herself was wide open was starting to narrow, and she could feel it.
If Blue was going to propose, she needed to be ready to answer this time.
Finally, she couldn’t stand this non-conversation any longer. “What’s on your mind?”
Blue took a breath. “When I got back to the station yesterday, Lieutenant Torres asked me to do another promotion for the department. Sort of like the calendar.”
His eyes shifted to the spot on the wall where her calendar had hung, though he didn’t comment on its absence.
“Are you shooting another one?” Her boyfriend as a cover model wasn’t something she was likely to forget.
Blue rubbed the back of his neck. “Not exactly. The chief got a call from a reality TV producer who’d seen the calendar. They want to interview me and follow me around for a while. Torres says it will be good for tourism and the community.”
Jo put her hand to her cheek in disbelief. Of all the things she had imagined he was going to say, this was not on the list. Not even close.
“So, you’ll be on TV. For how long?”
“Just one episode, I guess. Unless they want more. They said I had the look they wanted, whatever that is.”
“Oh, you know what that is.” She allowed a small smile.
He dipped his chin. “I hope you won’t be upset if it attracts attention.”
Jo lowered her hand and looked at him. Blue Blumenthal, who hunched his broad shoulders if someone looked at him too long, and who’d once left the diner because a woman got too familiar and insisted on taking selfies with him in uniform.
This man was going to be on TV?
Part of her wanted to laugh. Because this wasn’t what was making him so nervous. The show might be embarrassing, but once it was over, she suspected Blue would secretly enjoy having done it, as he had with the calendar.
Blue was a man who’d survived real trauma. A TV interview wouldn’t make him avoid eye contact with her.
Something else had happened in Chicago.
“Is that all that was concerning you?” she asked.
Blue only shrugged. “Can we start over?”
