“You mean I’m more damaged?” His eyes sparkle with ironic amusement.
“I meant you’re so charming that it would be hard to believe I didn’t want you.”
“Nice save.” He considers. “Alright, let me think. We could tell our friends that we went on a date, but decided we’re too busy, and we’re just friends for now, but we’ll try again in a few months. But we’d have to stick to that story with everyone. I don’t feel safe telling Katy that I’m lying. It’s not that she would sabotage me on purpose, but…”
“And I would have to tell Vivi we’re just friends for a while.”
“Yeah.”
“And during the meetings I’ll have to refrain from crawling across the table to make out with you.”
“Great. Now that’s all I’m going to be thinking about during every meeting.”
I reach over and hold his hand under the table, and he flushes a little.
“So that’s a plan.” His voice is not entirely steady, and I suspect he is feeling what I’m feeling right now. Never haveI wanted him more than at this moment, when I can’t even kiss him. It’s like the very forbidden quality is amplifying the feeling. He runs his thumb lightly across my wrist. “So in the meantime,” he says softly, his eyes so warm they seem to be lit by a fire burning somewhere within him, “can I ask you on another date?”
“Yes.” My heart flutters like I’ve been asked to the prom. “We’ll just need to be extremely well-behaved in public.”
“Only in public?” There’s that mischievous look again.
“Only in public,” I repeat, and his gaze grows so intense that I can still feel it on me as I slip out of the booth to leave. I can still feel it on me for the entire subway ride home.
“Let me get this straight,”Vivi says at lunch as we watch Ollie getting into line at his favorite lunch cart across the street. “Neither of you thinks you’re ready for a relationship?”
I always knew that Vivi was going to be the hardest person to convince, but I feel obligated to stick to our story. The goal is not to tell Destiny and the committee one thing and our friends another—not when everyone circulates around the same water coolers. That’s a recipe for getting fired.
“So he must be the problem, right?” she asks. “Because you are definitely ready for dating.”
“He told me he doesn’t trust women.” I figure I should stick as close to the truth as possible.
“Oh. Huh.”
“Yep.”
She ponders this. “Hey! Ollie!” She calls loudly above the sound of traffic. I glance over at Ollie, who is gathering his lunch to head back to the office. “Ollie!” she shouts a second time.
“Vivi, stop it!”
“Come eat with us!” she calls to him. He nods and approaches with his lunch.
“Hi,” Vivi says, gleeful in the way she always is in the face of conflict. “So Laura told me you’re not ready for a relationship?”
Ollie glances at me and smiles. “I think we agreed to take a few months off while we’re working on a committee together, so that the whole relationship doesn’t blow up in the middle of it.”
“Sit down. I want to talk to you about this,” Vivi replies.
Ollie sits down, a grave, polite smile on his face. “Okay.”
“So Laura is great, right?” she asks.
Ollie nods, his eyes flickering to me. “Laura is amazing.”
“So what’s the problem?”
Ollie laughs. “The problem is that I need to take a couple of months to deal with some personal stuff and I thought the timing meant we should delay the start of this.”
“Bullshit,” Vivi says. “Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. What’s the real problem?”
