“You know I’d sleep with you if you were younger,” he says to me over the music.
“Wow, thanks, Ben. That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever?—”
“No, I didn’t mean it like that. I mean I’d probably sleep with anybody right now.”
“That’s even better. How are women not crawling all over you?” I laugh.
“No.” He frowns. “I meant you’re pretty. You’re beautiful. I was trying to find a way to say that without sounding like I was hitting on you, because I don’t want to hit on you. I just want to say Ollie is stupid.” My cheeks warm from the sincere compliment that’s hidden in there somewhere.
“I don’t want to sleep with you either,” I say. “But thank you. And Ollie’s probably back with his ex-girlfriend, who is younger and hotter than me, so…”
“No way. I’m sure he’s regretting screwing things up. You’d be a hard person to lose.”
“Nice job digging yourself out of that hole.”
Ben laughs. “Well, you know me. I’ve got a way with words.”
Ben sends me through another move or two that we learned in class, still too caught up in his thoughts to be second-guessing himself.
“Am I boring?” Ben asks when we’re close to each other again.
“No, you’re handsome and fun and romantic.”
“But…?” he asks. “You can say it.”
“But I’m not sure that’s obvious. On the surface, you seem straightlaced, but you’re not.”
“I think I bored Paige.”
“Paige is going to want you back,” I tell him. “So you have to decide what to do if she asks to come back. Because I’m pretty sure that she won’t find anyone better.”
He shakes his head. “Anyone is better.”
“No. I’m one hundred percent serious. Have a plan for when she asks. Speaking as a woman, I think she will. And you have to decide if you still want her.”
He nods, and a flash of vulnerability crosses his expression. “It’s hard to imagine her crawling back to me.”
“That doesn’t make me wrong.”
Another song starts, and Ben pulls me closer. It feels like something has shifted in Ben. He has decided to lead. This is the Ben who has soul, the one who knows how to make love. This feels like the real Ben.
I glance over and see that Jody and Helen are dancing near us.
“Look at you, Ben!” Jody teases. “When did you get sexy?”
Ben smiles weakly. “It just required getting my heart smashed into a million pieces.”
“Worth it,” Jody says.
When we are done with the song, Ben and I look at each other, and for a moment my heart races from panic. I am sure he wants to kiss me. I’m sure it would be a good kiss. But I give him a hug and let the moment pass.
When we drop him off at his place a little after 1 a.m., he gives me a warm smile, then thanks Jody for the night out, like a gentleman.
He’s not boring at all.
“Swing festival,” I call to him.
“I’ll try to make it.” He smiles at me as he closes the door.
