He clears his throat. “Thanks. I’m hoping it’ll help with running the business, you know? With running the inn.”
I nod, the reminder helping. His business is here, his home is here. And mine is not. I have plans back in D.C. Even if I were to run for the seat in Texas, I don’t know if that would change anything. I’d probably still try to be based out of D.C. I’d probably still try to do all of this with Shake.
I think.
I scoot toward my side of the bed and push my hair back from my face. From the second I got here, nothing has gone according to plan. I need a second to regroup. Some space to figure out what all of this means. “While you’re studying, would it be okay if I borrowed your phone? And your computer? I haven’t checked in with work in a few days, and since we have power back…”
“Yeah,” Nikhil says. “Of course.” He reaches toward his nightstand, not quite meeting my eyes as he passes the phone to me. “I left yours plugged in too over there. I know it wasn’t working before, but I swear I saw it light up for a second, so you may want to check it. And the laptop’s downstairs on the coffee table. No password.” He gets up, looking around the room. “I’ll just change and then I’ll do some work in the garage, so feel free to use this room, or the living room, or wherever.” He ducks into the bathroom quickly, then leaves, and I’m not sure exactly what it is I feel.
Relief, I tell myself, as I reach for my phone. I’m sure this strange, jittery sensation traveling over my skin is relief.
13
My phone miraculously comes to life, but the screen is covered in blurry notifications. With all the cracks, I can’t quite make out the text, so I instinctively tap my way over to voicemails, pressing around until they begin to play.
Meena, I can’t find any other flights out, but I have a client with a jet. Don’t start, I can hear you grumbling already, and yes, I know it’s horrible, and it likely contributed to climate change and maybe this very storm, but that doesn’t mean you should have to suffer through this. I’m working on it now and I’ll call if I can get confirmation on the jet.
It’s me, again. No luck so far. No one’s willing to fly to Houston right now. I think it’s too close to the storm landing, but…call me when you can. I’ve talked to your office, and they know what’s going on, so you don’t need to worry about any of that. Just focus on staying safe. I’ll talk to you soon.
Hi, Meena. I don’t even know if you’re getting these. Considering I’ve left about a dozen I’m going to assume your phone isn’t working, like you said before, and it’s not that you’re ignoring me. Though I wouldn’t blame you if you were. I probably shouldn’t be calling like this. I know I’m the one who cut things off, and we talked about giving each other space, but it’s just…I’ve been following the news and watching everything in real time and I can’t help but feel like this is partly my fault. If I hadn’t pushed you, if I hadn’t ended things like that, if I hadn’t given you that ultimatum, maybe you wouldn’t have gone to Houston. I’m about to head over to that meeting with the political advisory team, the one that was supposed to be for the two of us, and…I don’t know. If you’re getting these, call me. Please. I just…I want to make sure you’re okay.
Oh, god. I put my phone down, my hand slightly shaking.
Just last week a voicemail like this would have given me so much hope. I’d wanted Shake back as a teammate. I’d wanted us to run for office together. I’d wanted all of it.
But now?
So much has happened, and I have to tell him about it. I have to.
My finicky phone refuses to let me make calls, so I pick up Nikhil’s and call Shake.
“Shake, it’s me,” I say, knowing he won’t recognize this number. “It’s Meena.”
“Meena!” His voice is bright, eager. “Are you all right? I tried calling you a bunch, but I could never get through. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. It’s been a whirlwind, but I’m okay. And I got your voicemails. Well, some of them. It sounded like you maybe left more, but my phone hasn’t been working properly. That’s why…I’m calling from Nikhil’s.”
“Oh. Okay.” He pauses, the sound of papers rustling traveling through the phone. Shake may be one of the only people under forty in D.C. who orders a physical newspaper, but he insists that he retains information better when he reads that way. I’ve always given him a hard time about it, but now the familiar noise reminds me of another life. The two of us at our usual coffee place, his large newspaper spread out on the table as we update our shared calendar, discuss the latest gossip on the Hill, talk through issues at work. “And uhh, how’s that been? Have you all had time to talk about things? Were you able to wrap everything up?”
“Not exactly. It’s been a little tough with everything going on.” Power outages, windows breaking, canoeing through a hurricane. “We’ve just been in survival mode for a bit.”
“Right,” he says. “That makes sense.” He pauses. “I went to the meeting. I don’t know if you got that voicemail, but I told them about you, about our plan to run together, and they loved it. They have possible endorsements in mind, and they think they can time the announcement with some big media coverage.D.C.’s Desi Power Couple.” He lets out a nervous laugh. “Cheesy, sure, but they think it’s a good idea and…Anyway, once you’re back, maybe we can talk about it more.”
“Shake, I—”
“I just…I’ve missed you. And I have regrets, about the way I handled things. You shouldn’t have had to go down there alone. I should have offered to help you with this. We should have done it together. I’m sorry about that. But in the future, we can do things differently, and—”
I squeeze my eyes shut. “I appreciate that, Shake. Really, but you should know that…we slept together. Me and Nikhil.”
Shake doesn’t speak for a long moment. “Okay,” he finally says. “Okay. That…that makes sense. I get it.”
“You do?”
“Yeah. I know we’re not together right now, and I know that’s my fault, and you’re in a high-stress situation with the man who used to be the love of your life. It’s fine, Meena.
“Really, it’s probably a good idea to get it all out of your system. Get closure or whatever.”
I pause. Last night didn’t feel like closure. It didn’t feel like the end of something. It felt like…
