Though the journey here was long
With roadblocks and breakdowns and sheep
Someone releases a muffled laugh, and I grin, keeping my eyes on the screen.
Love cuts to the core of who we are
Exposing every fear and flaw
At times, that fear might overwhelm us, might tempt us to go far
But even when we run, when love is real it stays true
And I know this love is stronger for all the trials it’s been through
Though we may still be afraid, love can help us be brave
We can be scared together, no matter what we might face
And so, I raise this glass for love both old and new
Wishing joy and happiness in this next chapter for all of you
I release a breath and finally look up. Maggie’s eyes are shining, and my father looks a little choked up, but it’s Jacob’s reaction I want to see most. He stares at me, his earlier shock no longer present. His jaw is firm, his mouth closed, and his eyes don’t reveal a thing.
“That was lovely,” Maggie says.
“I…thanks.” My face still feels hot, and I turn from Jacob, meeting Maggie’s gaze. “I know it was a little cheesy, but I wanted to just…say how happy I am for both of you.”
“It was really nice,” my father says.
Jacob doesn’t add anything. He’s still staring. Not moving.
But suddenly there’s a loudscreechas Jacob pushes back his chair and comes to his feet. Then he turns, walking toward the exit and out the door.
My eyes follow him through the window, and my mouth goes dry.
The first thought that floats through my mind is that my poem was so bad it offended him. What was I thinking? Trying to make some sort of statement, send him some sort of message with a poem? I don’t know the first thing about poetry. I probably made things worse, insulted him, and his field, and—
“What is he doing?” I hear Maggie ask, but I don’t hear anything else. I get up, following the same path he took, rushing out the door.
He hasn’t gone far. He’s only a foot away, facing the street, his back toward me.
I rub a hand up my arm. It’s gotten chillier; the sunshine from before has faded, the sky cloudy and gray.
“Jacob?” I take a step toward him. “I’m sorry. For the last time we talked, and for all of that in there and—”
He turns around, his jaw working. “Was that about us? The poem?”
“I’m sorry. I know it’s nothing like…nothing like the ones you wrote, but I was trying to say…yes, it’s about us. And them too. But also us. I was trying to tell you—” I stop, swallowing. “You told me you were afraid, but I didn’t tell you how or why I’m scared. And I’m so scared that this won’t work, because it’s just…I thought I knew what that looked like. Trying to keep a relationship goingwhen you’re that far away. I thought I knew exactly how that would end, but I don’t want this to be over before we’ve even started. I don’t want to be afraid alone. I want what you said.”
“What did I—”
“I want to be scared with you.”
His mouth parts, releasing a ragged exhale. “So, I can visit you?”
“Yes.” A tear escapes my eye, and I laugh, the sound a bit watery. “I want you to come to L.A. And I want to come back here. I want to be with you, even if we have to figure out what that looks like with the distance, and I…I want all of it. I want all of it with you.”
