“I’ll be fine,” I say.
She smiles, patting my arm, and there’s something so naturally maternal about the gesture. It makes me miss my mom.
I should call her once I’ve sobered up.
“I know it couldn’t have been easy,” Maggie says, “but I’m so thankful you decided to come. It means a lot to me. And your father.”
“Oh. No, of course. I’m glad I could be here.” It’s a lie, but how else can I respond right now?
Maggie’s brown eyes are wide and guileless, her expression deeply earnest. And Ilikeher. She seems lovely, and I understand why all these people here want her to be happy. I can’t imagine the kind of loss she’s experienced. She deserves to not be alone anymore. To have love and partnership in her life.
I just don’t understand why anyone, including Maggie, would think my father could provide that.
“Your father’s told me…I understand that things haven’t always been easy between the two of you.”
I snort, then lift a hand to cover my mouth. “Sorry,” I say. “It’s just that—No. I wouldn’t call iteasy.”
Maggie smiles gently. “I know. And that makes the fact that you decided to be here mean even more.” She’s quiet for a beat. “I don’t know what your father was like years ago. I only know what he’s like now. He’s a little reserved and hard to get to know, but once you do, if you decide to, I think you’ll find that he’s a good man. He’s…he’s wonderful, really.”
I bristle, but force myself to respond pleasantly. “I understand why you would say that. You’re getting married to him, after all.”
She looks at me intently. “No, Neelu, I really mean…I think if you take the time to get to know him—”
I pull my arm back, and the movement sends the room spinning again. “Thanks,” I say. “But I know him.”
“It’s only that he misses you. And if the two of you could just talk—”
“He misses me?” The words fly out of my mouth. “In what world does hemissme? We barely speak. He hasn’t tried to see me in years. He doesn’t get tomissme.”
Maggie flinches, but I continue. She’s got the wrong impression of my dad, and I need to set her straight. I can’t have her ending up like my mother. Like me.
“I know he can say and do the right things sometimes. But when it involves the things that matter, he doesn’t follow through.” He asked my mother to send me to Scotland all those years ago, he told me he wanted to spend time with me, but once I showed up? Nothing. He was physically there, but emotionally, he wasn’t present at all.
“He’ll show up to the wedding,” I say. “He’ll get married. But after?” My head swims, and I close my eyes. I shouldn’t be saying any of this. I didn’t intend to. It just all came rushing out. “I don’t know. Don’t listen to me. I don’t know what I’m talking about.” My words slur together a bit. “Just because he left us, that doesn’t mean he’ll leave you.”
Maggie’s breath catches. “He left you?” she says, a bit stunned.
I open my eyes and tilt my head, but it’s the wrong move. I lose my balance for a moment, but quickly right myself. “Yes?” I say, a little confused. “I mean, I suppose if we want to play around with semantics, he stayed andweleft, but I was a kid. It wasn’t like I had a choice. And even after all of that, he basically…left me alone.” I pause. “But it doesn’t matter. Just ignore me. I—”
She takes a step back, her eyes growing misty. “I’m sorry. I need to—”
“Maggie,” I say, starting to follow her, but I wobble again.
I almost fall, but someone steadies me, a warm hand cupped around my elbow, another at my back.
“Thanks, but I—” I turn to find Jacob, his face thunderous. And it’s not fair that anger can look this attractive on him. His full lips are pursed, his eyes bright and dangerous, his thick, dark brows pulled tautly together.
He looked similar last night. His face above mine. Intense and utterly focused on me.
“I need to talk to her, and ex”—I hiccup—“explain what I meant—I didn’t mean to upset her.”
His hand tightens around my elbow. “You’ve done enough.”
“Let me go,” I say, wrestling my arm out of his grasp. I take a few unsteady steps forward, but the crowd’s winding down. People are leaving. And I don’t see Maggie, or my father, anywhere.
I head toward the exit, but I can feel Jacob hovering behind me, close on my heels.
I walk faster, pushing open the heavy door, shivering at the cool burst of evening air.
