“I can think of one way for you to work up an appetite.”
“Oh?”
“But…we do have to break the rules a little bit.”
Wren screamed at him, “Pull! Pull! Harder, damn it!”
She had squeezed herself into the back seat of their car and was pressing the entirety of her weight down onto the Graco Lock-tite 4000 XL. It had taken an embarrassingly long time for the two of them to get it out of the box and attach the headrest and other soft covers, to thread the rage-inducing elastic straps through tiny holes that attached the cloth to the hard plastic.
Now was the final push to tighten the thing in place so they’d never have to do this again.
“It won’t give! There’s no more slack!”
Arthur was tugging on the strap with everything he had. It wouldn’t budge a centimeter.
“If I push down on this seat any harder,” Wren said, her voice strained, “this kid, and probably several different bodily fluids, are coming out. PULL.”
He propped his feet up on the edge of the car and leaned his body completely backward. This was it. Every bit of weight and might and strength in his body flowed directly into the strap, until finally, he collapsed onto the pavement.
Wren contorted herself out of the car and stood next to him. He managed to climb to his feet, embarrassed by how heavily he was breathing.
“Did you ever figure out who gave us this stupid thing?”
“It’s not stupid, it’s a marvel of modern engineering. And, no, I asked around but no one seems to want to take credit.”
“Well, moment of truth,” Wren said. “Wanna give it a wiggle?”
“I’m afraid.”
“Me too.”
She made a religious crossing gesture as Arthur took a step forward and grabbed hold of the back of the car seat.
He gave it a push. He gave it a pull.
By God, it was secure. It didn’t budge more than an inch.
“We did it!” he yelled. “Honestly, I can’t believe it.”
Wren dusted her hands off.All in a day’s work.“Should have asked for my help earlier, jerk.”
“Believe me, I’ve learned my lesson. I can’t do it all on my own. In fact, I don’t think I can do anything at all on my own. Hope you’re OK with that.”
“I’ll allow it if you feed me in the next thirty seconds.”
He wrapped his arm around her, pulled her close.
“I don’t know. I’m still not that hungry.”
“Still?”
“If only there were some other strenuous physical activity we could engage in.”
She rolled her eyes. “Strenuous, huh? If either of us breaks a sweat, I owe you five dollars.”
“So you’re going to pay me to have sex with you? This is the best day ever.”
She grabbed his hand and led him across the parking lot, back toward the apartment. He followed eagerly.
