He lifts a shoulder. Doesn’t meet my eyes.
“Kai,” I say, almost exasperated. “You can’t tell me you don’t care about this. You took avow. You were consecrated by a bunch of…faceless monks in France. You literally do nothing else but this.”
Kai snaps his gaze to me.
“What was I going to do, Gwenna?” he bites out. “Seventeen years old, no parents, no home, and no skills beyond being ableto hit people with swords pretty hard. I’d painted myself into a fucking corner.” He puts his elbows on his knees, leaning forward to stare at the strip. “You know how expensive a sport this is to participate in? It’s not fucking…pickup basketball. An FIE kit alone is gonna run you a thousand bucks, and that’s before you even get into all the travel and logistics to actuallygetto any events.” He runs a hand through his hair, damp strands weaving over the tattoos on his fingers.
“So none of it really matters to you,” I say flatly. A familiar disappointment twinges in my chest.
He just doesn’t care.
Kai’s voice is sharp and sudden.
“I didn’t say that.” He straightens up, wincing as he does, and looks me dead in the eye.
I swallow hard.
“I didn’t say that,” he repeats. “Okay?”
“Okay,” I repeat. “Sorry for…offending you. I guess you are…”
I trail off. Kai’s eyes narrow.
“Guess I am what?”
I breathe out hard and flatten my palms against the pages of my book. “I guess youaredoing your best to make sure nothing happens to thequest object.”
Kai’s nostrils flare. “Is that what you think?”
“Is that not the truth?” I look right at him. “Why else would you bother doing this, Kai? What’s in it for you?”
Kai stands up. Strides over to me, crouches down, and plants a hand on the wall behind me so that he’s staring straight into my face.
Inches away.
“I could give a shit about what the Brothers want. I couldgivea shit about that vow.” His voice is low and taut, his words close enough to brush over my skin. “Ibother, Gwenna, becauseif anything else happened to you, if anything else ever,everhappened to you, I would never forgive myself.”
My breath catches in my chest.
We’re so close. So, so close.
Then Kai gets up.
“I’m done here,” he mutters over his shoulder, walking toward the locker room.
“Kai!” I jump to my feet. “Wait, I?—”
Kai waits.
I don’t know how I was going to finish that statement.
“I…have something for you.” The words drop out of my mouth automatically. “For your…back. A salve.”
Kai blinks at me. Chews his lip ring.
“Yeah, okay.” He nods into the locker room. I crouch for my bag, my fingers suddenly trembling a little, and fumble around for the tin from Morgan.
The locker room is deluxe—soft lighting, carpet, polished sinks and showers, tall wooden lockers with nameplates for each fencer—but that’s not what takes me aback.
