“Yeah, you have to laugh at my jokes now,” I say. “My mom is dead.”
My mom is dead. I feel vaguely hysterical, and yet also…exhausted. Depleted.
“Your room is waiting for you.” Kingston, at last. “If you’d still like it.”
I nod. “Okay. Thanks.”
“Or any of ours.” Callahan speaks so soft and quick I almost don’t realize it’s him. “If…if you want.”
My heart thuds a few beats faster. Right. I could. If I wanted to.
Morgan cocks her head. “So how’s that going to work? If I may be so bold,” she adds. “You roll a D4 or something? A schedule?”
“Morgan,” Kai mutters, “Christ.”
“What?” Morgan throws her hands in the air. “Gwenna can make jokes, and I can’t?”
“It was a good joke,” I say quickly. “Sorry. Just processing…a lot. And no. I’ll just…see how I feel, I guess.”
“She can make up her own mind.”
Kingston. He fixes Morgan with a pointed stare. Like he needs to defend my honor against my own best friend.
“Exactly,” I confirm.
And on that note…
I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ll have to figure this out. But for now…
Slowly, consciously, I set my hand on the couch beside me. Just a little test. Just to see.
Callahan covers it with his, and I shiver. But not because I’m cold.
THIRTY-ONE
LANZ
I don’t rememberthe last time I knocked on Cal’s door before entering.
But here I am. It’s a new world.
Standing in the second-floor hallway, I rock back and forth on my heels for a moment, stalling. It’s—I check my watch—almost ten a.m., and even though it’s pretty obvious neither of them is going to go to class today, I just want to…see her.
Both of them, really.
Plus, breakfast is getting cold.
At least, that’s my excuse.
Because with Gwenna here, in Camlann House, I canfeelher presence. Or, more accurately, her absence. The pain is worst when she’s close by, but notwithme, I’ve noticed: walking by the door, or even in the first-floor room that’s underneath Cal’s, sends a kind of electric surge in my chest. Otherwise, it’s a kind of dull ache. Not as bad as it was that first day, but…not good.
But I can deal with that later.
I blow out a breath, not quite loud enough to be a sigh, and I’m just about to raise my fist and knock when?—
“Someone there?”
Callahan automatically shuffles to the side of the bed.
