The feeling of it hits like a physical ache, like a pulled muscle from trying so hard and yet getting nowhere, from stretching as far as I can in every direction and never seeming to pick the right one.
So all I can do is nod.
“What’s going on?”
Footsteps down the stairs. Lanz’s voice. I turn as he enters, but Lanz barely looks my way, which stings, for some reason.
“Pack your bags, Pretty Boy,” Kai says, although there’s no humor in his voice. “The jig is up.”
“What?” Now Lanz looks at me, his blue eyes searching.
Again, I swallow. “I…”
I was going to help you, Lanz. I tried. I asked Morgan. I?—
“The Consistory knows about what happened,” Kingston answers for me. “That Luther’s…” He doesn’t finish the sentence. “We think they may be coming to Caliburn. We have to go somewhere they can’t find us.”
“Shit,” Lanz whispers.
“Shit is right,” mutters Kai.
Kingston nods at me and Lanz. “You both have your passports, right? Upstairs?”
Passports?I think, desperate.That’s the level we’re operating at?A tiny sob wriggles in my throat, but I swallow it away. Again, I nod.
“Good.” Kingston frowns, glances at the stairs. “Where’s Cal?”
“Chapel,” Lanz says. “I think. He’s…been going a lot lately. Morning and evening mass.”
Kingston nods. “Fill him in when he gets back. Kai and I need to?—”
“We’re gonna grab as much as we can from Luther’s office.” Kai’s already back in the foyer, pulling on his jacket. “Financial shit, property shit, whatever. If we’re not stupid we should be able to get far away, fast, and not leave anymeaningfulpaper trail.”
“Away where?” Lanz asks.
“Who cares? Mexico, Uruguay, Tierra del Fuego?—”
“We’re still figuring that out,” Kingston interrupts. “But we don’t know whattheyknow, so…time is of the essence.” He follows Kai, who’s now out the door and on the porch. “Wewanted to make sure you knew first. And we’ll try to work quickly. But…don’t go anywhere, all right?”
I don’twantto go anywhere, I think.That’s the whole problem.“Wait.” I turn in my seat, half-rising from the couch. “Wait, Kingston, Kai?—”
They wait.
And I freeze.
Because what is my alternative? What better plan am I proposing,couldI propose? I had my chance. I had my chance to be what I needed to be, what theworldneeded me to be, and I didn’t do it. I didn’t do it right.
So I just shake my head.
“Nothing,” I whisper. “I just…can I go talk to Morgan first?”
The two of them exchange a quick look, then nod.
“Be quick.”
The door slams after them on a gust of wind.
TWENTY-EIGHT
