Damn.
I screw my eyes shut and quickly open them. My gaze fixes on the woodcut on the wall, of Noah’s Ark, the big wood boat and all the little lions and giraffes and zebras and birds.
Two by two. Male and female.
And the rainbow overhead.A token of God’s covenant.
Always used to be my favorite Bible story.
“There are certain tests we put to them, as oblates,” the brother continues. “Trials. Not of swordsmanship, but of fidelity. Of integrity.”
“Oh.” I nod tightly. Not sure what I’m supposed to say.
“We set them against each other. Planted secrets. To see where the greater loyalty lay: to each other, to theself,or to God.”
“Uh huh.” My voice cracks a little. I’m not sure where he’s going with this, but I don’t really like it.
“I think, Callahan Thomas, that had we put you through the same, you would have proven most steadfast of all.”
I flex and flatten my hands, again and again. “I guess so. Maybe.”
I’m loyal, sure. But I’m also not that obedient, am I?
Not to the brothers. Not to the vows. Maybe not even to God.
“We should nothaveto test you further,” he says. “Any of you. Should we? Now that your vows are consecrated.”
I shake my head. Wordless.
“It would be a shame, wouldn’t it, if we could no longer rely on our Knights. If we could no longer trust them as our worldly arm. If we could no longer do such good works as all this?—”
Outside, a bunch of kids laughs and shrieks, footsteps pounding past the slightly open window.
“But that is the beauty of the sacrifice,” he finishes. “When our mission is brought to bear, no one will suffer any longer. No sins will be punished. All may live in accordance with God. Healed and whole.”
“Mhm.” I’m not looking at him, even though we wouldn’t make eye contact regardless. But from the corner of my eye, I see him turn to the window, like he’s looking out at something.
“I know there were those you could not save. But I believe God had greater plans for you, Callahan Thomas.”
I say nothing.
“I believe you came to our order for a reason. So that you might save many, many more. The sick.” He pauses. “And the dying.”
Lanz.
“I believe you, of all our Knights, most wish to do good in the world.”
I stare at the stupid ark again and realize I’m fighting back tears.
All I can do is nod.
“I give you this, Callahan Thomas.” With gloved fingers, he places something in my palm and wraps my hand firmly shut around it. “I trust that you will discern when it should be used.”
TWENTY-ONE
GWENNA
“Aretalogy,”Emrys says.
