“No, no,” Wendy says. “I mean, like…” She lowers her voice a little. “Having a period. Being a woman.” She says the last part a little sarcastically, rolling her eyes.
“Oh,” I say. “Yeah, that part’s…there’s a lot of energy that it takes up, I guess.”
Wendy eyes the drugstore bag again. “I am probably going to need more though, right?” she says. “I mean, I don’t know how many I use a day, but like…that times seven times, uh, fifty-two? So…hang on…”
I frown, rubbing my forehead. “No, you’re not…” I almost smile but catch myself. “You’re not going to be bleedingforever.” A little bit of a laugh escapes in my voice.
“Oh, really?” Wendy sounds genuinely relieved. “Oh, I thought?—”
“No,” I say, really smiling now. “Oh my God, can you imagine? That would be terrible.” I laugh, and it surprises me howlightmy laugh sounds. “No, no, no. It’s like a couple days, maybe like a week, once a month or so. Just kind of…” I spin my fingers through the air. “You know, cycles.”
“Ohhh,” Wendy says. “That’s better.”
I shrug. “Well, it is and it isn’t. You do have to kind of keep track of when it’s coming so that you don’t, you know, ruin another pair of pajamas. But you learn to manage it. I can show you how to get the stains out. And it’s good to keep one or twopairs of underwear that are kind of, you know, already done for, just in case.”
Wendy nods, listening intently, and suddenly I feel the girliest I’ve felt in, God, I don’t know. Months, if not over a year. Like all the old muscle memory coming back. Like I haven’t forgot what I’m doing or who I actually am. And as I realize that, I decide to prod a little more.
“So no one explained this to you?” I say. “Your mom? Or your dad?” That last one seems unlikely, but I ask it anyway.
“Well, mybrothersdefinitely didn’t,” Wendy says, irritation in her voice. “They never told me anything when I had questions. I mean, not that I actually asked them aboutthis, oh my god!” She presses a hand to her chest, aghast at the thought. “But like, just generally.”
“And…your parents?” I say as gently as I can.
Some custody shit, I think. The only thing we really got out of that game at all.
Wendy jabs at the pile of her fries with another fry. “My mom died,” she says, not looking up. “And my dad…” She sighs. “He doesn’t get along with my brothers. And they say it’s his fault, and he would always say it was their fault,” she recites. “And so one day they told me I was just going to go live with them. And then Dad would have to figure…” She hesitates a moment. “…figure his shit out before he would get to see any of us again. So…” She lifts a shoulder. “I guess it didn’t matter that much to him in the end,” she finishes, her voice very small.
“Oh, honey.” The words fly out of my mouth before I can stop them, surprising me and surprising Wendy, judging by the way her head jerks up and disbelief is written all over her little face. I give a tiny laugh. “Sorry, I guess I’m just like, back in girl mode all of a sudden.” I laugh and bite my lip. “I just mean…I’m sure that’s not why he hasn’t been back.”
In reality, I have no idea. From the sounds of it, Wendy’s dad is a total fucking scumbag, honestly. But if he’s never coming back, then she doesn’t need to know that.
Except we do need to find him, says another voice in my head.She can’t stay here forever, remember?
Wendy gives me the faintest smile and slurps a little more of her Coke. A moth flits in and out of the light halo around us on the patio. Then she yawns, a big yawn.
“You feeling better?” I ask.
Wendy nods.
“Then let’s get home.” I stand up, brushing salt off my shirt. “Sleep will help.”
She nods again.
“Tink?”
I look over my shoulder from the trash can where I am shoving in the paper and plastic and cascade of ice cubes.
“Yeah?”
“Thanks,” Wendy says from the table. “I promise I won’t tell. Ever.”
On the way back,Wendy falls asleep. Not on purpose, I don’t think, but I can feel her body go slack against mine on my bike, and I hold her arms in place so she doesn’t slide off as I zip us through the streets, under the sky that’s just turning bronze with sunrise.
Back at Neverland, I park as smoothly and silently as I can in the alleyway and hoist her into a kind of piggyback as I dismount, guiding her skinny arms over my shoulders. I manage to get up the back steps that way, push through the door to thekitchen, and silently work my way to the shop. The spiral stairs give me a bit of trouble, but I make it to the landing and?—
“Holy shit.” I stop short, heart pounding in my chest as I almost run into someone in the hallway.
Blue. Fuck. Of course. Of course he’d be the only one still awake.
