“Okay, but…” My voice sounds craggy. I swallow. “Can you, like, ballpark it?”
“Unfortunately, I’m not able to speculate about treatment, diagnosis, or recovery times.” She sounds all smug about it. I bet she was a mean girl in high school. “You did sustain some severe injuries to the ribs and sternum and for the time being it’s very important that the fractures remain stabilized.”
She’s got on pink scrubs. A pink headband. That long, long ponytail.
“If you want, you can ask the physician when he?—”
Never fucking mind. I close my eyes and sink into the pillow. I’m trying to tune things out, when?—
“Someone called for victim’s advocate?” The charge nurse, the one that barks everything she says. “LVPD actually sent someone for once.”
I open my eyes again.
No answer. Then the charge nurse again.
“Well, I don’t know what to tell you, honey. It’s Friday fucking night in the Valley and this is the emergency department. Everyone here’s a victim of something. You got a name, or anything?”
You bitch. You murdering bitch.
You fucking killed him.
I am gonna drag your skinny ass in on murder charges. Make no mistake, I am going to get the fucking cops in here and?—
Headrush when I stand up. I grab my sweatshirt from the chair. There’s enough people walking back and forth that I make it to the end of the hall.
“Bella?”
Nurse Chelsea. I think fast. “Ladies’ room?”
She relaxes a little. I’m not here to bother her. “Around the corner.”
She points. I walk.
I’m not going to the ladies’ room. I don’t turn the corner at all, but she doesn’t notice or doesn’t care. Instead I keep going straight, straight on to the waiting room, to the sliding glass doors, to the outside.
The parking lot’s dark. London Valley never gets cold, not really, but when the sun goes down there’s a chill in the air, like the blue of the sky is freezing downward to earth.
I look up. Look up and take as deep a breath as I can under this stupid binder.
There’s stars out.
Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight…
The nursery rhyme goes off in my head, automatic.
Stupid.
Grow up, Bella,I tell myself.Grow thefuckup.
And then I run.
CHAPTER 1
TINK
TEN MONTHS LATER
“Suck my diiiiiiick!”
