The beds are bare and creaking. The mattress sags, even under Arina’s weight. But at least it is a mattress. And it’s a room with a door that closes—a room that I can refurbish, a door that I can lock to keep her safe.
For the first time, I feel like I can breathe a bit easier. It’s another temporary respite.
Because nothing will be permanent until I can remake the world.
“I’ll show you the route here twice more,” I say to Gregor as we close the door to what’s now Arina’s bedroom. “Make sure you know exactly how to get here.”
We trace the path from this room and back again, Gregor repeating every turn. On the third go-around, he leads. He still hesitates at points. But by the fourth time, he moves with confidence.
“Only you,” I emphasize when we return to Arina’s quarters. “Don’t show the path to anyone else, not even the Worldkeepers. Not yet.”
He nods. “I understand.”
“There’s one more thing I’d like to ask of you…Will you stay with her tonight and whenever I cannot?”
“Of course.” He glances around. “As long as you bring me food.”
“I can arrange that.” The academy is still on its summer break. But I’m sure I can findsomethingin the kitchens. Kaelis is still here, after all.
“Where will you go?”
“I need to get the supplies she needs and start looking for what Vaduin wants,” I say.
A long pause. “So, to Kaelis, then?” Gregor’s tone is unreadable.
I nod.
We stare at each other. I’m the first one to look away. He shifts, folding his arms. The awkwardness is unbearable.
“Well, good luck,” he mumbles.
“Thanks.”
Another second of us staring at each other, and then I head off.
I swing by the kitchen and scavenge for some dried fruits, nuts, and cheese. When I return to deliver the rations, Gregor makes jokes that I must be a bird, and that’s far better than the tension that had overtaken us earlier.
Still, I know he doesn’t like the idea of me going to Kaelis. I can feel his disapproval as I leave.
I weave through the passages, up and across to an outer tower connected by a single bridge that I move within, not on top of. The Stellis were there during winter break last year; I’ve no reason to think they won’t be now. For the first time I wonder if they’re there by Kaelis’s orders, or if it’s Naethor or Ravin keeping an eye on him.
I emerge into Kaelis’s closet, the familiar scents of his colognes and soaps stopping me in my tracks—cedar, frankincense, and a unique blended aroma I can’t piece apart. My heart pounds as I listen for movement in the main room. Hearing none, I slowly, silently crack the door, scanning the familiar chamber.
No one.
It’s only ever Kaelis and his maid, Rewina, in here. But I don’t really want to run into her. The smell of food draws me to his dining room door. I press my ear to it. There are the sounds of clanking cutlery, pauses, shifting goblets. But no talking. By the sound of it, he’s eating alone.
Slowly, I ease open this final door, just enough to peek through. The warm glow of candles shining off the dining table is exactly as I remember it. It’s elegant, refined, and utterly gorgeous, in stark comparison to the chaotic mess I still am.
Then my eyes land on him.
Kaelis sits in his usual seat at the head of the table. A book is open beside his plate. He’s dressed casually, a velvet robe draped over loose silken clothing beneath. His deep purple hair, nearly black, is mussed, as though he’s been raking his hands through it in thought. Hands that he now brings to his lips, biting at his thumbnail. I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen him so relaxed…and I’ve seen the man naked.
I open the door, and he looks up instantly. Our eyes meet, and I hold my breath, waiting. Waiting to see what his reaction will be. If he meant it, telling me to come back here.
A slow smile spreads across his face, smug and satisfied in that way that’s uniquely his. But there’s also genuine relief in his eyes. When he speaks, the words are harsh, yet simultaneously full of affection. “You look like death.”
Chapter 19
