I don’t know how much time has passed. It’s hard to tell. He feeds me just enough to keep me alive. He heals me with the Queen of Cups—pulling me back from the brink so he can start all over again.
My clothing is soiled and damaged beyond repair. The boning of my corset is beginning to wear through. My modesty can be damned; the only thing I am afraid of is him finding the golden Major. He clearly knows a decent amount about the Major Arcana. I assume he knows that a golden card can be used to summon the World, and that’s one advantage I’d die before giving him.
I do everything I can to guard the tiny spot on my side where it rests as he beats me. He never notices.
Luck is still on my side.
My hair, thick with dried blood, clings to my face. I spend most of my time between the beatings leaving my body. Retreating somewhere far, far away. Somewhere I can’t be touched.
There’s no light in this tiny room, save for a paper-thin sliver underneath the bookshelf that serves as a hidden door. The darkness andstillness for hours on end give me time to think. In a way, the solitude is worse than the beatings.
At least when Glavstone is here I have something else to focus on: survival. When it’s quiet and I’m by myself, my mind wanders.
The golden Death card…was stealing it the right thing to do? If I hadn’t, Kaelis might have gotten to the Star and rebuilt the world by now. It wouldn’t have beenmyworld, but if he spoke true, it would’ve been a good one. Better than this…
You’ll never be done with mewere his parting words. In any world Kaelis made, I wouldn’t be in prison. I’d be at his side.
Sleep chases me, catching me when I least expect it. There’s a vulnerability to sustained unconsciousness that instinct has me working to avoid. But I can’t do without forever.
My dreams torment me. Not because they’re nightmares, but because they are so good it makes the waking minutes and hours that much more unbearable.
I sit with my sister at a table at the Starcrossed Club—not the townhome, the original. She turns over the cards before me.
The Moon. The Emperor. The Two of Cups.
“Oh, you’re going to meet a mysterious and handsome man,” she teases me.
“I have no time for men.” I scoff.
“Fate disagrees.”
I am with Kaelis, nested in a bed of blankets, his arms around me. His mouth is on my shoulder.
“Don’t go,” he whispers to me.
“I must.” But why? Where am I going?
“Clara…don’t leave me.”
“Kaelis…” I turn over and reach for him, but he’s not there.
A warm breath on my ear. “I’m here, my destiny…”
The words are so sharp and clear it’s like he’s right next to me. I jolt awake, looking behind me. But of course he’s not there.
My only company is the pain…and the warden.
I’m not sure how long it’s been. Days? Weeks?
The office door opening and closing hardly registers. I’ve retreated into myself. Hiding from the pain of my body. From the bruises and beatings.
But this time is different. What pulls me back is a familiar voice. A voice that’s in Glavstone’s office, and no longer only in my dreams.
“Thank you for seeing me, Warden Glavstone.”
Chapter 4
It can’t be…My left eye has long since swollen shut, so I pry my one good eye open. The room is still dark, with only a whisper of light creeping from underneath the bookshelf that serves as a door. Am I dreaming again after all?
