Kaelis nods, looking away. There’s a faint flush on his cheeks that completely stills me. Almost…bashful? Him? Impossible. First insecurity and now this? Who is this man? I can’t stop a smile.
“You should take the food with you.” He gestures to the other end of the table. I didn’t even notice the silver domes.
“Don’t mind if I do.” I head straight for them, lifting one to find a plate laden with meat and potatoes. I spill it all into a cloth napkin, wrapping it up. I’m sure Kaelis is aghast at the lack of decorum, but he merely smiles as though offending his sense of decorum is part of my charm.
“You know, I could help take care of her, if you tell me where sheis.”
I pause. “We’re fine, for now.”
“I know she’s here.” He leans against the table. “You wouldn’t let her go too far from your reach. And the food kept disappearing from the kitchens even while you were with me. I must commend you for making the right decision to bring her here; she’ll be safest with us. I can help see to it.”
I give him a sidelong glance. “Is it supposed to make me feel better that you’ve deduced all this?”
A slight grin. “You’re not going to tell me where she is, are you?”
“No.” I finish tying the knot on the napkin.
“The offer is there, whenever you change your mind.”
“So arrogant.” I cross to the door, pretending to ignore him.
“You love me like that.”
Rather than responding, I leave, letting the sentiment hang, ignoring the weight in my chest at him saying the word “love.”
Getting to Arina’s rooms is pleasantly easy.
I quietly enter, reassured by the sounds of Gregor’s snoring. It sounds like nothing has gone wrong so far. She’s asleep when I arrive, and I can’t decide if that’s for the better or not.
I pad over softly and kneel at her bedside, resting my hand on hers.
“You won’t recognize me when you wake,” I whisper. “You’re going to think my hair is wild. I can already imagine what you’ll say about the color. I bet you’ll call it pink.” I huff nearly silent laughter, the saddest smile arcing my lips. “I’d give anything for you to tease me. Not that I’d admit it if you were listening.”
I pause a beat, as though she’s going to wake up and do just that. Arina doesn’t move and somehow the night seems a little bit darker—a little bit colder.
“I wish…” I swallow past the lump in my throat, sagging farther into her mattress. “I wish I could be sure that you’re still in there. I’m keeping faith. It was the only thing that had me surviving as Kaelis remade me…but it’s so hard. Can you…”
Pressing my forehead into the edge of her bed, I draw a shaky breath.
“You’re in there, I know you are. Just like it’s still me past the changes to my appearance. No matter how different we look, I willalwaysbe your sister, and I will always come back for you. So I will wait however long you need to return to me.” She’s been through so much. I can’t ask—will never ask anything more from her again. I won’t even ask her to return to me. If she can, she will. The rest I leave to faith.
I let the tears fall. They’re searing hot down my cheeks as they drip to the floor. But they don’t wake her. Nor do my ragged breaths, or my ironclad grip on her hand.
Somewhere between my memorizing the delicate whorls of her fingertips in the moonlight and studying the latticework of veins onthe back of her hand, the tears run dry. There’s nothing left in their wake but hollow resignation.
I fall asleep hunched and wake, aching, with the dawn.
Though, as the world comes into focus, I nearly jump out of my skin. Arina is staring straight at me. As though…as though for the first time she’sseeing meand not merely looking right through me in a daze.
I bring her quivering hand to my cheek, as if feeling its new shape would help her understand what happened.
“It’s…it’s me, Arina. Clara.” But even my voice sounds slightly different after all I’ve been put through. What cruel twist of fate it is that Arina’s moment of clarity should come after my physical transformation. “I know I don’t look like you remember, but it’s me. Your sister.”
Her eyes flick left and right, as if trying to read my face. As if searching for something. She blinks, and I wonder if the world is coming into focus.
“Arina—”
“Who the fuck are you?” Gregor snarls from the doorway. I can feel the spike in magic as his cards rise.
