They reach into their pocket and retrieve their deck. The Sun slips out, shining silver in the light streaming through the window. The card melts into the sunbeams.
I expected the card to be more like Silas’s Chariot—a blinding flash of light. But instead, the magic is a gradual sunrise. A golden glow spills from their hand, soft and warm, and then cascades over Arina. The glimmering gold light chases away the shadows that were lingering over her and in the corners of the room. The air warms, and even I let out a sigh of relief as the tension I carry with me every moment of the day eases from merely being in the presence of the card.
Arina twitches. Thal steps back, gaining space, but doesn’t leave. Arina’s lips part slightly, and she exhales.
Her eyes flutter open. The late-afternoon sun complements their natural, gilded hue. Those eyes turn to meet mine, and my heart stops. The motion of the people in the doorway stops.Everythingstops. And we all hang on her next inhale.
And the slight smile before she says, “Clara.”
My name on her lips has me doubling over, clinging to the bedsheets. “Arina,” I sob. “Arina!” I’m scrambling to grab her. To clutch her to me so that she can never be taken from me ever again. I hold her so tightly it’s as if I’m trying to meld our skin together.
My sister.
My blood.
You know me, even still. You know me. You know yourself. I didn’t lose you.
“You recognize me?” I pull away.
“You don’t think I’d recognize my sister no matter her form?” She gently squeezes my arms in a calm, friendly way. “Plus, you showed me your new face—you explained it.”
“I wasn’t sure if you heard me,” I whisper.
“Yes, I can see why you would think that.” She gives a slight nod, and her eyes scan the room. “Where am I? The academy, right?”
Every word is calm and even. Serene. Perfectly peaceful. I should feel more relieved. This is what I wanted. Except…she’s absent the fiery edge my little sister usually had. Her anger has been doused, her rage quieted. No, more than that, all her emotions have vanished.
Thal warned me of this. But seeing it is different. More than that, I didn’t expect the card to take caution, worry, or fear from her. They warned me of all pain being removed, not allemotion. But how much of fear is rooted in pain? Terror at the idea of being in pain? At the memory of past hurt? Can someone who doesn’t know pain be afraid? What is there to fear when nothing seems to hurt you? How much of joy exists only because it is in contrast to the hurt we know is out there? How much of motivation stems from the desire to move past or avoid pain?
Questions I’ve never even considered until this moment.
“Yes, we’re in the academy. Deep, though. Hidden.” I rest my hand on hers. “You’re safe here, I promise.”
She turns to the window. “Safe,” she repeats thoughtfully. “I suppose I wasn’t very safe for a very long time…”
“Arina…” Gregor staggers forward, unable to hold himself back any longer. I’m grateful for even the few seconds he managed to offer us to have our own moment together. Tears well in his eyes.
“It’s good to see you again,” she says in this new placid manner I’ve never heard from her before. “Is the rest of the club here?”
“They…” Gregor trails off, hopeless eyes meeting mine.
I rise to the occasion, trying to swallow the lump in my throat and failing. “Bristara is dead. Jura died helping us escape Halazar. Twino and Ren have left—they’re living their own life now, for themselves. We’re what’s left of the Starcrossed Club.”
“Oh.” The sound Arina makes is pure nonchalance, and Gregor and I suck in a pained breath in unison.
I’m doing this to show her it’s safe to return to her body—to start the emotional healing process—not to mourn,I remind myself, even as the ache stings. Thal watches me instead of Arina, and I’ve little doubt they’re judging how I’m handling this.
“ ‘Oh’?” Gregor says. “ ‘Oh’? Is that all you have to say? I thought they were your family as much as ours.” His words oscillate between anger and hurt. He takes a step forward.
“Don’t.” I stand, shooting him a glare. “Remember, she’s under the influence of a card.”
Gregor’s hands ball into fists, and his head jerks away so he can stare into the corner of the room.
“We looked for you, I swear,” I say softly, clutching her hand. “We thought you were dead, or I would’ve never let you spend as long as you did there.” The words nearly choke me. “I am so sorry, Arina. But it’s safe now, and I will make sure they can never get you again. Do you understand that?”
“I do. It’s all right now.” Arina squeezes my hand with a smile. “Don’t beat yourself up over what happened.”
“How areyouthe one comfortingme?” I croak, shaking my head. “We let you down.Ifailed you, abandoned you.”
