His insides completely disappeared. In their place existed a block of solid ice.
A hot hand snuck into his, burning unwanted happiness all the way to his elbow.
Elenya stuttered in his silence. “I—I am so sorry, David. I had no idea where you’d landed. Caden’s mother was meant to keep you and him together, to forge a bond. But I understand that did not happen?”
He did not reply.
“I had no idea Xandra intended to take a…lover. She promised she would keep you safe. I can’t understand why she kept you with…him.”
“She loved him, obviously,” David said. “He was violent and cruel, but she didn’t care. Even when he beat her, she still loved him.”
Elenya’s eyebrows rose.
Growing irritated, David shook off Autumn’s hand and crossed his arms. “You look surprised, which is vaguely disappointing. You can’t imagine that someone would put the needs of a child who isn’t theirs over their own desires?”
A sheen appeared in Elenya’s eyes. “She said she loved you.”
“Then she either lied or she doesn’t understand what love is.”
“She’s a deva, Elenya,” Kywyn murmured. “He might have been herlumá.”
Elenya swallowed, and her gaze fell to the floor.
David stared at the top of her gold head. “If that man isn’t my father, then who is?”
“A sylph,” she said faintly, still staring at the floor. “Shortly after your birth, he made his way north.”
Made his way north? What the fuck was that supposed to mean?
“Immortality weighs on some more than others,” Autumn whispered near his ear. “After so many years, some crave relief and flee to the beaches in the north, where the water provides them a gentle end.”
Suicide beach. Got it.He’d filter that one away for later thought.
“I wish I could have kept you,” Elenya whispered, almost to herself. “I thought—I thought I was doing the right thing. You would have been so unsafe here, no matter where I took you. And Lana…she was so sure Viterra was the right place.”
A long silence stretched in which Autumn gripped his elbow, trying to offer comfort and failing in all respects. His mind skimmed over Anna’s hand on his earlier. That worked way better.
“What do you want from me?” David asked. “Forgiveness?”
Her green eyes lifted. “You are my son. Given what happened, I’m sure you won’t believe me when I say that I love you, but I have loved you every second of your life. I was hoping…to know you, I suppose.”
I love you.
No one had ever said that to him. It was baffling what those words did, the way they gouged deep into his soul.
But they were just words. Why did they feel like that?
She wouldn’t be saying them if she knew the things he’d done. A new, hollow ache lurked outside the edges of his emotions, and he hardened the ice. “I’m Galadaine’s heir. Isn’t that all anyone needs to know about me?”
A delicate line formed between her golden brows. “Of course not. The realm is judgmental of those from our bloodline, but you don’t have to weather this alone. I’m here now. I can help you. We can face this together, work on controlling your magic. We can?—”
“I don’t want your help.” His heart jumped to his throat, pounding at breakneck speed.
“Please, David?—”
Panic began to claw up his spine, but he forced it down. Iced it over. “I don’t want or need your help. I’ve done finewithout you?—”
“You’ve not beenfine.” She reached for him, but he took another step back. Autumn followed. “I can help?—”
