That unbelievable bastard.
Helaina masked her hurt, her immense anger, while Breyer continued.
“I’ve seen lesser monsters and betrayers slit their own throats at that touch, choosing death over the horrors playing in their heads. Manos said I didn’t stop shrieking until he came and suspended my mind. He can do that, you know, pause things, make you a living statue. Lionel came later and healed my memory.”
Fee gave her mate’s hand a firm shake. Breyer regarded her with exceptional fondness. “I don’t think I was quite right after that, not until Fee came. She fixed the parts of me no healer could reach.”
Fee rested her head on Breyer’s shoulder, wearing a self-satisfied grin. “You fixed me too, my love.”
Breyer turned to kiss the top of Fee’s glittering hair. Helaina looked upon them with a silent envy. How wonderful it must be for fate to design you a partner that was unequivocally yours.
“That is only a fraction of what he bears,” Fee added in that aloof voice of hers. “Valhoor gave him power that is uninhibited—sometimes I think it’s limitless. I have seen him turn solid rock into dust, make impossible things move with his mind. He has crafted hurricanes out of a single puddle to ward off an approaching attack. But that fear... that bone-rattling fear of his... it’s maddening.”
“What about... the monster underneath?” Helaina had to know if there was something more to that dreadful creature.
Breyer shrugged. “He’s like us in a way, but not.” Breyer gestured to Fee. “We’re skin changers; we call upon our counterparts when we choose to. For Theo, that beast lives inside him day and night. They are like two separate beings constantly at odds. Sometimes when he changes, he’s our commander... other times, he’s something else. Theo wins most days, shoving it back down. He’s learned to control it, saving his most violent beast for battle.”
Helaina thought about that aggressive monster rising to the surface. How hard it must be to keep something like that at bay every day, every hour. How did he sleep? How did he fight while he was constantly waging a war within his own body?
“It’s interesting you inquire about Theo. There was a rumor that you were seen leaving his room after Aaron was healed,” Fee said.
“You’d think all of you had better things to do than listen to gossip. I was just naturally curious; he is the commander, after all.” Helaina tried to give a convincing shrug.
From the looks she received, they weren’t buying it. Helaina abruptly changed the subject. “I’ve seen your fire drake.” She nodded to Breyer. “What about you, Fee? What can you change into?”
Aaron choked on his meal. “Please don’t ask her. She might show you.”
Breyer shoved his good shoulder in retort, then eyed her mate. “Don’t let her sweetness fool you. She can shift into one of the most feared mountain creatures out here—a night bear.”
Helaina’s jaw dropped. “You... can shift into a night bear?”
Fee combed her talon nails through her icy hair. “Only when it’s most dire. They are such unruly beasts, I hardly feel in control when I change.”
Helaina had a mind to ignore Aaron’s warning and ask to see.
Another five days passed with no sign of their return. No Manos, no Callum.
No Theo.
Helaina continued her routine, feeling stronger each day.
One morning, she found herself wandering a different yet familiar tunnel that ended at the infirmary. She opened the door to find Lionel hunched over a desk, writing in a giant text. His clothes were not like the others’. He wore a cream-colored robe with delicate golden embroidery on the front. He looked more priest than warrior.
She cleared her throat.
He glanced up, eyes glinting at the sight of her. “Good morning. I’ve been hoping we’d run into each other sooner or later.”
She took a step inside. “You have?”
His smile grew wide as his golden eyes beamed. “Your work with Aaron was that of a skilled professional. You must have had a great teacher. If you ever want to put down the sword and join me here, I’d be happy to have you.”
“I did... and I’d be honored for the opportunity.” She fidgeted with the brass clasps on her leathers, wondering if she’d ever get the chance to tell Madge of the life she saved. “I’m just glad I didn’t kill him. I didn’t know he was Callum’s brother. I don’t think he would have let me live if I’d failed.”
Lionel put down his pen and placed his hands on the arms of the chair. “No. No, he wouldn’t have.” Lionel laughed almost nervously. “You’re so young, you must have a remarkable memory, something any healer would be envious of. It’s a gift.”
She shrugged. “Sometimes I wish my memory wasn’t as... vivid.”
Lionel pursed his lips in thought. “We all have memories we wish to forget. Sometimes I think of how blissful it would be to erase the faces of those I couldn’t help, the ones where I didn’t make it in time.” He stood, walking to the other side of his workspace. “But then I remember how selfish and sad that would be, to erase them. Instead, I carry them close, I use those faces to push me forward. Their memory makes it all the more meaningful when a lifeissaved.”
