I’d failed.
I told myself that pain was only temporary. That this too would pass. That we would survive this and find a way for Orela not to have to live in servitude to gods we were currently questioning, in temples my father feared for reasons he couldn’t divulge before his death.
I was lying to myself.
A gust of wind whipped around me, sand pelting against my skin in tiny pinpoints, but it didn’t matter.
Nothing did.
Not until I fixed the mess I’d created.
My mind reeled in a torrent of questions—concerns, worries, and fears blending together in a painful attack.
I needed answers, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to find them standing alone on the streets of Solis Quarter.
I brokedown the moment I stepped through the door and made eye contact with Kira. It took half a second for her hazel eyes to collide with mine and see the defeat in the depths of my being.
“I’m sorry.” It was all I could say as she ran to me, pulling me into a hug. I clung to my youngest sister, both of us breaking down in a heap on the floor.
“I’m sorry,” I said again.
“I’m sorry.” The words were a ghost of a whisper in the air. “I couldn’t stop it.”
“None of us could,” Kira admitted. Loxl whined beside us on the floor, his small beige head shifting from me to Kira and back to me before he whined again, displeased by our display of emotions.
I reached over, tugging the fox into my lap as I sat on the floor in defeat.
“What happened?” Finn’s voice sounded from behind my sister, and I tilted my head, surprised to find Finn, Sage, and Emberly all in my living room, watching us closely.
I shook my head a moment, my curls bobbing from the movement as I tilted my head to the side in confusion.
“What are you all doing here?”
“We planned to meet here after Luc called for you after our performance,” Emberly confessed. “We were on our way here already when Kira called us.”
Another pang of sadness shot through me. Regret andsorrow laced together that I wasn’t here for Kira when Orela had been taken.
“Rae.” Finn’s voice pulled me from my thoughts as I turned toward him. “Tell us what happened.”
I shook my head, not wanting to speak, even as I opened my mouth and the words began flowing out of me. My heart sank with every word that fell from my lips.
“Stars-damn,” Finn cursed as he paced across my living room, wearing a path into the already-worn rug that covered the floor before he sat down beside me pulling me into a hug.
I sat there for a moment, clinging to him as tears freely rolled down my face.
“I’ve tried so hard . . .” The words came through sobs. “For so long, just for this?—”
“Shhh.” Finn’s hand traced circles on my back as he held me close to him. “It’s okay to not be okay right now. You’ve been so strong . . . for so long. It’s okay to let others be your strength when you need to.”
I remained silent for a few more minutes, calming my breathing as I tried to think through our next steps.
“I knew we shouldn’t have gotten involved in any of this,” Finn confessed after a moment. “It’s too dangerous. You haven’t spoken to those twoguardssince we saw them, have you?”
I didn’t answer at first.
I didn’t want to.
“Raelyna.” Finn’s voice was a demand for an answer.
