“You said that already,” he said as he pushed off the couch and stopped before me, tilting my chin up to look at him. And by the stars, I hated that he hadn’t kissed me on the couch a minute ago. I hated how much Iwantedhim to kiss me . . . to feel his lips covering mine.
Callum reached out, his fingers covering mine as he traced the black mark on my forearm.
“I know. It’s just . . . you’re a spy. You’re here on a literal mission. And I—I have to figure out how to keep my family safe. It doesn’t matter if there’s something here—” I trailed off as Igestured between us.It doesn’t matter if I feel an unexplainable pull toward you. If I feel safer with you than I ever have, even though I have every reason not to.
“Lucanus’s reign won’t last forever,” he replied.
“What if it does?” I could barely force the words out.
“It won’t.” His voice was a low rasp. “I promise you that, starlight.”
I gave him a sad smile. “We’ll see.”
He laughed. It was a warm laugh, so unlike the one I’d heard coming from Lucanus recently. “There’s no ‘we’ll see,’ Raelyna. Lucanus’s worldwillcome crashing down around him, one way or another.”
“I hope so,” I replied softly, but I didn’t know if I could believe it—if I could truly trust his words. And even if it did, that didn’t mean that things would change between us. “Even if things changed, we live two different lives . . . in different Quarters.”
“It’s okay to let yourself find hope on the horizon. You know that, right?” he asked me, his voice softer than usual.
I looked up, studying him, wishing I could read what was going through his mind right now.
I nodded, even though I wasn’t sure if I could fully believe there was light capable of breaking through the darkness.
Because the reality is that we all lie.
Lie to ourselves.
To others.
To those we love most.
Like when I tell myself it will be okay. That it’s all going to get better. That maybe I could escape this hellhole and start over.
It’s a lie.
I know it is.
But for a fleeting moment—a brief second—I let myself believe it.
Callum didn’t say anything, he just stood with me in my silence, the shadows swallowing our thoughts, our wants, ourdesires. I don’t know how long we stood there, letting the night pass us by as we stared into each other’s eyes, before he broke the silence eventually.
“Come on.” His voice was low as he entwined his fingers around mine, tugging me with him.
“Where are we going?” I asked, letting him lead the way . . .in my apartment.
“I’m about ninety-nine percent positive I saw half a box of pizza in your refrigerator.” He shot me a dimpled grin as he led me toward the kitchen.
“Seriously?” I scolded. “You’re going to hide out inmyapartment and eatmyleftovers?”
“Obviously,” he answered as he opened the refrigerator door before grabbing the box.
The suns would be risingin another hour, meaning Callum and Axel would need to be gone before they broke the horizon, and they could be easily spotted off The Wall. I hadn’t yet told my friends what had happened last night—hadn’t told them that I was currently harboring two spies in my living room.
The two spies who were currently taking inventory of their supplies, and it had only taken the briefest of glances toward my kitchen table to know that we lived two vastly different lives. My table was currently covered in a variety of firearms, bullets, and knives, which made the singular throwing blade Finn had gifted me appear pitiful in comparison.
Glancing at the time once more, I began to fidget, knowing they needed to leave in the next ten minutes if they wished to have any hope of getting far enough outside The Wall without detection. A clamor of noise rose behind me, mixed with achorus of excited yips coming from the fox who had clearly taken to Callum.
“Stop being a menace,” I said as I walked into the kitchen.
