This feeling wasn't new, though. It dug too deep and hurt too much. Zayne's secrets and lies, the way he cared for her and abandoned her, connected with an older pain.
It reminded her of the stranger looking after her for years while refusing to see her.
Maybe she pushed Zayne because she couldn't push the man who refused to live when she wanted so badly for him to stop punishing himself and find an ounce of joy. The man she only knew for one night.
Zayne accidentally tapped into a wound that never healed, because it didn't matter that she understood or forgave her stranger when she sat here alone, not knowing if he was even alive.
So, Kira poured herself into her work and refused to give up even though Zayne came home. For weeks, she'd allowed herself to get lost in his mind.
Tonight, she made herself forget him and encoded her last message. One for Mom.
“I love you. Give them nothing.”
Thousands more words died to escape her heart. Saying so little after waiting so long to speak to Mom again lodged a knot in her throat, one that blocked the air from reaching her lungs.
Kira needed to say as little as possible in case the wrong people intercepted this drone.
She hid the message for her mom and the request to deliver it to her in the code, hoping it might look like corrupted data to anyone who didn't know how she operated. She left instructions for Pixi Dust in the same way but inserted a decoy to lead soldiers astray if they intercepted it. By including recording equipment, Kira disguised the true nature of this drone.
Her drones made it to their destinations, but she still felt terrified. She'd never had the Rivens watching her every move. Cold understanding washed through her body. Not just them. The Phaedra.
What if this brought about more damage than anything good?
That night Kira awoke to the tank door slamming shut in her face, the icy water rushing into her mouth and nose.
She ripped her eyes wide open, hand clawing at her mouth, scratching into gloved fingers that covered her face.
Wild hope and longing collided into one in her chest, choking her more than the water or hand. But just like last time, she realized it wasn't her stranger.
That hope didn't abate, though.
She stared in wonder at the man dressed in the black special ops uniform. “You're the friend,” she whispered. “The one who came last time.”
He nodded. “Hurry.”
“Where is he?”
“Away.”
Always away. Always looking out for her no matter the distance. When the friend offered a hand, Kira took it and followed closely alongside him, abandoning everything in her room. She only slowed to slip on a pair of shoes and wrap herself in her coat. How did he evade security to make it into her room?
Darkness draped the familiar Riven household in shadows, cloaking decorations that masked secrets.
The man walked softly, so Kira did her best to quiet her steps. This all happened so suddenly she hadn't processed the implications of escaping.
Until she looked at the stairs leading up to Adelle's room and realized she couldn't say goodbye. Her steps hesitated, and the friend drew her along by her hand.
Adelle would know Kira appreciated everything she'd done for her. Would understand why she couldn't say anything.
They picked through the house, slipped silently into the night, and rushed for the woods, her mind racing with possibilities. She saw her mother's face when they'd been hiding beneath the floorboards, and she dared once again to hope to see her. She thought of a long life free in the territories with the one she had grown up missing. And she imagined endless torture in the prison and the threat to her friends. The hope and terror of escape clashed in her chest with every heartbeat.
“Thank you.” For all her conflicting emotions, her gratitude for this masked man would last until the day she died, no matter what happened. He risked his life to help her.
The further they ran, the more she thought of Zayne and that she'd never see him again.
It shouldn't have hurt after he vowed to follow the Phaedra's orders no matter what it meant for her. But her body remembered his warmth when he pulled herfrom the tank, and the way he burst into the interrogation room to interrupt when she needed it most. It haunted her that she'd never peeled away that mask of his. That she never would.
Would Zayne be relieved she got away?
