“Hmm,” I haw. “Well, there has been a bit of a ... development.”
“That sounds interesting. What sort of development?” Before I can answer, she jumps back in. “Hold on. Someone’s at my door.”
I wait, listening to mumbled voices in the background.
“Martha?” Evangeline says. “Hayley’s here. I’m going to put you on speakerphone, if that’s okay.”
“Sure.” Two opinions are better than one, right?
“Hey, Martha! I hear you’re out working on your tan.”
I look down at myself. My skin is a little pink. I’m not planning on staying out too much longer, so I don’t worry about not having any sunscreen.
“She was just about to tell me about an interesting development,” Evangeline supplies.
“Oh, I can’t wait to hear it.”
“Okay, so, you guys know the situation,” I begin, not exactly sure where to start. Evangeline and Hayley know I write with the kids at the library, but they don’t know it extends beyond that. “Well, you know Julien is looking for a miracle author.”
“Have you found one?” Evangeline asks.
“No. Yes. No. Not exactly.” I sigh. “Julien thinks he has.”
“But you don’t agree?” Hayley asks. “Who is it? What’s the book about?”
“It’s...” I bite the inside of my cheek. “It’s me.”
There’s silence on the line, then an excited “You? Martha, that’s great!” from Evangeline. And “I didn’t even know you wrote books. How cool is that!” from Hayley.
“Yes,” I mumble. “I write middle-grade chapter books.”
“Wait. Why don’t you sound more excited?” Hayley asks.
“Yeah. Why didn’t you just propose your own books in the first place?” Evangeline seconds.
“Because.” I fiddle with the hem of my bathing suit. “It’s not any good.”
“Psh.” Either Evangeline or Hayley makes a dismissive sound. I can’t tell which.
“We’re always our own worst critics. I’m sure it’s amazing.” That’s from Hayley.
I swallow the lump in my throat. The rejection is always hard to talk about. “It isn’t just me. I’ve tried submitting it before, but no one has ever shown interest in it or thought it was worth exploring further.”
My friends let that sink in.
“Manuscripts, even really good manuscripts, get rejected all the time. You know that,” Evangeline says.
“Sure. But bad manuscripts get rejected too,” I answer.
“Julien didn’t seem to think it was bad,” Hayley points out. “Otherwise he wouldn’t be trying to talk you into letting him publish it.”
“But Julien doesn’t know anything about children’s literature. He really isn’t an authority to know whether my work is any good or not.” I pause before continuing with one of the thought threads that has woven itself into a tangle. “He only has one shot. What if he gambles on me and my books—books that industry experts who know a lot more than him have rejected, by the way—and they don’t sell? He’d have wasted his one opportunity to prove himself to his father, his dad won’t turn over the business to him and will continue to work himself into an early grave, and it will be all my fault.”
“Okay, wow, that’s a lot of pressure,” Hayley admits.
I nod in agreement, even though I know they can’t see me.
“First off,” Evangeline starts, “whatever Mr. King, Senior, does or doesn’t do, no matter how any of this turns out, isn’t on your shoulders. Those are his decisions that he’s making. He can’t put the consequences of his actions on anyone but himself. He could have decided to follow the advice of his business associates and close Squire. He could have decided to make changes a long time ago so Squire wouldn’t have gotten to the point it’s at now. I’m sure there are all sorts of decisions he could have made. Those are on him, not you.”
