“I need to say something, and I can’t say it while you’re in my employ, so, you’re fired.”
“Are you serious?”
“Very.” His jaw ticked. “And since I am no longer your boss, temporarily or otherwise, I’m going to tell you how incredibly beautiful you are. You’ve been torturing me every minute of every day that we’ve been together, and if it wasn’t for the fact that we’re colleagues right now and that I am in a position of authority over you at King, I would have asked you out that first day you stepped foot into my office and back into my life.”
Her eyes widened with each of his words, her blinks coming slower.
He smoothed out an invisible wrinkle in his shirt, hoping he hadn’t made her uncomfortable with his bluntness. “Now, I’m about to rehire you, which means I will once again be your boss. I shouldn’t have said anything in the first place, but I couldn’t let you go on thinking men don’t find you extremely desirable.”
She laid a hand on his arm. “Julien, that was ... Wow. That was a lot to process.” She took a deep breath, a smile fluttering across her lips. “First, I didn’t say any of that because I needed you to defend me or was looking for any sort of compliment from you. My positive body image has to come from me, notfrom an outside source. That being said, thank you. No one has ever said anything like that to me before, and I suspect it cost you quite a bit to admit to any of those thoughts or feelings.” She chewed on her bottom lip. “Not having a romantic relationship with someone you work with is a hard line in the sand for you, isn’t it? Any specific reason?”
Julien curled his fingers into his palms. “A classmate of mine in college. When she was doing her internship, her supervisor took a romantic interest in her. Any time my friend was shown preferential treatment, the other interns would claim it was because she was reciprocating with special favors of her own behind closed doors. Her supervisor would ask her to do things, and she felt pressured to obey because he was her boss and she was afraid if she didn’t comply then she’d lose her position. The whole thing was messy and ugly and, without getting into too many personal details, ultimately killed both of their careers and reputations.” He took a moment before continuing. “I like you, Martha. More than I should, given our positions. But if Squire acquires your books, nothing can happen between us.”
Her eyes were sad as she nodded.
Suddenly, a bright light raced up into the sky in the distance. White contrails streaked behind the rocket as it climbed into the atmosphere and then arced with the earth’s contours, saving either of them from having to say anything further as they watched the rocket slowly disappear into space.
24
The insistent buzzing of my phone on the bedside table infiltrates my dreams and pulls me out of sleep. With bleary eyes, I lift my head and jab a finger at the screen. Which of course does no good because the buzzing sound is from incoming texts, not my alarm.
I glance over at the other bed, hoping the noise hasn’t woken Julien. The man is lying on his back, one arm bent over the top of his head, his shirtsleeve riding up and showing off the muscular form of his bicep. The straps of the CPAP machine run along his cheekbones, his nostrils filled with the pillows of the breathing device, and a long hose extends from his nose like the trunk of an anorexic elephant.
I clap a hand over my mouth to keep a giggle from escaping. We’ve been sharing a room for days now, but this is the first time I’ve seen him with his nighttime headgear on. I’ll speak plainly. Not even the sexiest man alive could make wearing a CPAP machine look like anything but what it is—an uncomfortable but useful tool to not stop breathing while sleeping. There isn’t any way to glam it up.
So why is my heart tripping a beat right now?
Hmm ... probably because I can’t stop his confession from yesterday from running through my mind on constant repeat.Look, my self-esteem may need to come from someplace intrinsic, but that doesn’t mean what Julien said didn’t have a powerful impact on me and make my knees go more than a little weak.
And now, seeing him sleeping peacefully even with the medical device shoved up his nose makes it all too easy to picture what this could be. Him. Me. A life together. Watching him sleep and listening to the gentle whir of the breathing machine in the early mornings. Not something fleeting. Not a simple crush. But something deep and lasting and forever.
Except there’s something else he said that won’t leave my mind either.
“If Squire acquires your books,nothing can happen between us.”
And I know that’s what he wants, for Squire to publish my books. For him to save the imprint and prove himself to his father once and for all. To ultimately save Mr. King from himself. To save his dad’s life before it’s too late.
An insecure part of me whispers that it doesn’t matter if Julien confessed that he likes me more than he should or that he thinks I’m beautiful. He’s choosing the publishing house and his dad’s expectations over any type of heart involvement with me. But things aren’t that black and white. I don’t think Julien even feels like hehasa choice. I doubt Mr. King has ever let him think he did.
My phone buzzes again in my hand, drawing my attention down to the screen. It’s another text from Evangeline. I tap on the notification, and a GIF of Ricky Ricardo fromI Love Lucyloads. The Latin actor is shaking his finger, and the caption at the bottom saysYou’ve got some splaining to do!
Evangeline
I can’t believe you kept this from us.
Evangeline
I mean, I know I’ve got no room to talk when it comes to keeping secrets, but this is different!
Evangeline
Hayley and I had a sleepover and stayed up all night reading your book.
Evangeline
Call us!
I slip on one of the hotel robes and pad my way as quietly as possible to the sliding glass door that leads to the balcony. Thankfully, the door opens without a sound, and I slip outside. The rhythmic white noise of the ocean greets me, and the brine in the air fills my lungs.
