“You do love her then?” The words were both question and confirmation.
He stole a slice of seasoned apple and ate it before answering. “Yeah, I do.” An enormous weight lifted off his chest. Somehow it felt good to admit it aloud, even if it was to his mother. “I love Amaryllis North. A lot.” Saying the words semi-publicly made a difference.
“And does she love you?” She placed the fork she was using onto the counter and looked him right in the eye until he wanted to squirm. Only a lifetime of practice kept him stationary.
“Maybe?” He quirked one eyebrow in question. His mother didn’t respond, she just waited him out. Another interrogation technique she had down pat. The woman could break down a hardened criminal and make him confess. “Maybe I should tell her I love her again, that I want to be more than friends. Maybe she didn’t believe me.”
“Maybe,” she replied dryly. “But being in love, or not being in love, with Rill isn’t what brought you here. Is it?” It was her turn to lift a brow in query.
Dang, he hated when she mimicked him. Was it any wonder he loved his mother so much? She had a direct line on her children’s lives and never let them get away with much. Sure, he’d slipped a thing or two over on her when he was younger and she was working three jobs to keep them fed. Now, all he wanted was for her to be happy, secure, and content. Maybe she would even fall in love again someday.
“The thing about Rill is she wants to go back to the city. I’m content here. No, I’m happy here. But I’m not sure I can stay happy without her. Does that make sense? She’s kind of...I don’t know, part of me now.” He expected an answer, but his mother remained silent until he couldn’t stand it any longer.
“Don’t you have anything to say?” he asked, stealing another slice of sweet, cinnamon spiced apple.
“If you don’t stop snitching my fruit, I’m going to whack your knuckles with a wooden spoon. These pies are for Christmas dinner.”
“You know that the inn has a chef, and Ophelia made a five dozen pies before she left, Mom. You don’t need to bring food.”
“That’ll be the day I show up for dinner without something to contribute. I’m used to being the host, not the guest.” Over the past few years, family Christmas had become a big deal for his mother. She loved giving her children the magical Christmases they didn’t get when they were young.
He was surprised that his sister wasn’t coming home for Christmas, she usually did. Neither of his brothers had leave from the military this Christmas, though they had last year. The family would get together for a late Christmas when they could.
“Tell me more about Rill being part of you.” She made a hurry up gesture with her left hand. “What does that actually mean? What are you willing to do for her?”
All the movement did was irritate him. If he knew what his heart and mind felt, he’d be at the inn, with Rill. He was here because he was confused. Finally, he said, “I need Rill in my life and if I have to move to the city, I guess I will. I can sculpt anywhere. Though I’ll miss the inn.”
“It’s a brave man who goes all in. Jumping in with both feet. I’m impressed.” She paused. “As long as you’re sure she’sthe one.”
Her words struck a chord deep inside him. He couldn’t even imagine spending the rest of his life without Amaryllis. He needed her beside him. He needed her to be happy; wherever she was and whatever she was doing. If that was in the city without him, he’d live with it, as long as she was truly happy. He’d move to the city if she asked him to. If living here, in Snowy Hollow, with him made her happy, so much the better. “You know what, Mom? I am sure. Her happiness means more than my own.” He nodded for emphasis. “I just have to talk to her. Let her know how I feel and let her take it from there. Weirdly, I want what she wants.” The idea of not being with her left him totally gutted.
“I’d say that based on your words, you do truly love her. Chase her with all you’ve got, son. You’ll never regret going after what, who, you want. Pursuing love is never a mistake.”
Chasing Amaryllis down was exactly what he was planning. But how do you make a woman fall in love with you? It was only days before Christmas and she’d be gone before he knew it. Two months wasn’t much time to change her mind, especially with one of them nearly past. He kissed his mom on the cheek. “Thanks for helping me talk it out. It feels good to have a plan, of sorts. Well, I getter get my Christmas shopping done.” He chuckled. “Or it will be a sad Christmas morning. Thanks, Mom. I love you.”
“Come back for dinner,” she called as he left.
“Will do, thanks. Love you.”
Suddenly, he was stoked for the holiday again. He’d miss spending it with his family; but it felt right that this should be a special holiday for him and Amaryllis. Their first together...if he could bring her around to his way of thinking. Having his mom there would be great. Not having to share the event with his entire rowdy family was the icing on the cake. It wasn’t that he didn’t love them, because he did. But keeping his first Christmas with the woman planned to marry small and intimate seemed perfect.
