“I messed up.”
Bruce nodded, but didn’t offer any words of wisdom. Seth appreciated the silence. It was comfortable, like Bruce understood what he was going through. He needed to talk about this, and it was a ridiculous time to call anyone he knew.
“What do you do when you say something incredibly unfeeling and stupid?”
“Apologize?”
Seth groaned and scraped his hand across his midnight whiskers. They were well beyond a five o’clock shadow. He’d already known he needed to apologize, but hearing it from another man’s lips was annoying. “I guess I better.”
A weight lifted off his soul. Having a plan was freeing. Okay, not a plan exactly, but an idea of what came next. He just had to figure out how to grovel meaningfully.
“What are you going to do about the ladies?” he asked Bruce.
“Keep on saying no and keep on asking for dates. I guess.”
Mr. Kayne finished his drink and left. Bruce and Seth talked for another twenty minutes until Bruce got up. “I’m out. I need some sleep. Cocoa duty in the caboose tomorrow. We’re open for cocoa and Santa visits from noon to four. It’s gonna be a rough go.”
“Have a good night,” he said as Bruce walked away.
Seth sat in the near dark, regretting his big mouth. He felt terrible for confronting Joy about her parenting. She was right; it wasn’t any of his business, but at the same time, she was smothering her daughter. Chantal had mentioned not having any aunts or uncles. He knew her father ditched at her diagnosis. That left Joy alone. Sometimes you needed family or friends to tell you when you were messing things up. He didn’t regret telling Joy, but he regretted the way he’d done it.
He fisted his hands in self-censure.
Mostly, he regretted losing her friendship and what he had been hoping might turn into a deeper, longer-lasting relationship. He was falling for her. He had been since her first staunch defense of her daughter on the platform.
Despite knowing he wouldn’t sleep, he returned to his cabin and tried to rest.
Bleary-eyed and exhausted, Seth was surprised to see Chantal sitting alone in the dining car the next morning. Ignoring Joy’s orders, he greeted her. “Good morning, Chantal. Any plans for today?”
“No. Mama has a headache. She’s sleeping in.”
“And you left without permission?” He raised one eyebrow in question. There would be trouble if she had defied her mother’s orders. He couldn’t believe Joy would let her daughter come here alone.
“No. She said I could. Miss Jenny is watching me.” She pointed toward the far corner where Jenny, still wearing her Mrs. Claus outfit, was talking to a small group of staff members in low secretive tones. She kept glancing around as if to ensure nobody was listening.
“They’re telling secrets,” Chantal said. “Mama says secrets are rude.”
“Sometimes they are. Usually they are,” he corrected himself. “But it is Christmas, and that’s a time for special secrets. Like what gift you bought someone or a wonderful surprise you have planned. I’ll bet Miss Jenny is planning a surprise.”
“Do you think she’s the benef…” she stumbled on the word benefactor. “Did she plan this trip?”
“Maybe. But it’s hard to tell. There are hundreds of people on this train and we don’t know if the benefactor is even here. They could be somewhere else entirely. Remember yesterday? Think about how many people we saw at the play. Jenny, the people in the matching coats, Nurse Maddie, and Chris, the bald guy with the fake fur coat. The lady who wears the big sweater with the dog team on the back. It could be any of them, or somebody else.”
“I suppose.” She sounded totally defeated.
“Maybe we’ll find out at the end of the trip. Plus, we can watch for clues all month. There are almost three weeks left on this trip. I’ll bet we can figure it out by the end.” He grinned, though it hurt to see Chantal so despondent about not knowing. “Cheer up and enjoy your day.”
“Can you sit with me? I don’t like sitting alone. It feels weird.” Her cheeks pinkened adorably and something in her eyes reminded him of Joy’s fear for her daughter. Mother and daughter were so much alike that it made his chest hurt.
He hesitated. He didn’t want to go against Joy’s wishes, even if they felt unreasonable.
“Please.” She blinked up at him, tears in her eyes.
“Okay.” He slid in opposite her.
“I hear Santa is taking visits today. He’ll be in the rear observation car. Maybe Jenny can take you to see him.” He pulled out his phone. “He’ll be doing it after we stop for the day.”
“Maybe Mama will get up soon. I’m supposed to eat and get Miss Jenny to take me back to my room.” She toyed with her fork, stirring the scrambled egg on her plate. “I don’t want to sit all day. I want to do stuff.”
