We found a winner in camp darling Azalea, who started by telling us that she would need a minute because she’d done a ton of dumb shit and ended with us learning she’d broken her arm crafting a DeLorean-themed human flying machine meant for Flugtag—a Red Bull tournament where sheand her friends built a vehicle to see how far it flew off a platform into the Willamette River. She also took part in said extravaganza anyway and had to get her arm recast. “And I’d do it again,” she said to laughter. I had no idea our head chef was so bold and slightly foolish, but you learn something new every day.
“Oooh, this is a great one,” Sawyer said, announcing the next topic. “Your secret shame.”
Campers were loosened up, and almost in unison came an “Oooooh!” like they were ready to get the tea.
Hazel admitted she had seenTwilightin theaters twenty times, Leo cringed as he told us he didn’t know how to read analog clocks, and then it came time for me to go.
“I’m deathly afraid of bunnies. And no, I’m not joking.” Dozens of jackass laughs resounded. “Have you seenMonty Python and the Holy Grail?”
The laughter didn’t stop there. This happened every time I revealed this truth to someone, which was, thankfully, not outside the safe space of campfire games.
“Don’t even bring upDonnie Darko,” Leo said through tears.
I blew my bangs out of my face. “Um, you just did,” I said, half-joking, half-murderous rage. I wished more than anything that it wasn’t true, but that was the whole point ofsecret shame.
“On that note, we’re going to change gears,” a serious Leo said to a collective groan. We knew these buzzwords were used in workplaces across the country, and we liked to lean into it on the first night. “I’m just kidding, kids. You aren’t at work, you’re at—”
“Camp!” numerous people shouted.
Leo chuckled. “I meant to say, for the next activity we’re going to do a little singing. Can I get everyone to stomp-stomp clap, stomp-stomp clap?”
The crowd stomp-stomp clapped and repeated the sound as the beat to the song and all the counselors shouted the lyrics to Queen’s “We Will Rock You” with cupped hands. People started to pick up on it. A collective excitement bounced off the trees as campers joined in.
Our campfire songs were top forty hits from the past fifty years, so it included everything from yacht rock to boyband hits, which the crowd got into. This part always took people by surprise, no matter what song we sang. Many campers had never been to camp and didn’t expect to know any songs. We did fast renditions of favorites, while everyone had drinks in hand and ate s’mores. It didn’t feel forced at all, which was something I loved.
Jack was missing from the singing. That was pretty strange because this was the part of our first campfire he looked forward to the most, but I found him cuddling behind us with an amazingly gorgeous redhead, recognizing her as his girlfriend, Gia. I knew she’d be coming up here, but I assumed we’d see her later. I waved at her, and she smiled and waved back. I made myself a s’more as we launched into a rendition of Abba’s“Dancing Queen” and looked into the faces of our camp group behind the fire.
Camp made me feel everything. Absolute joy, gut-punching laughter, tear-inducing sadness. It was a range of emotions I hadn’t experienced during years of growing up in a family where displaying your emotions was frowned upon, and I leaned into my feelings every time. I didn’t know how long I’d keep working at Camp Starlight, but I was all about living in the moment, and I wasn’t about to squander this one.
