thirteen
Autumn
“Holyshit,”Iwhisper-shoutedas I reemerged from the icy lake.
I never got used to the feeling of the first drop into Lake Starlight, whose dark blue waters beckoned me. It was a windy night, and it was an adjustment to get used to the temperature, but if anyone were to ask me what my favorite spot at camp was, I’d tell them it was right here, hands down. I loved to swim, but I loved the feeling of cleansing myself from the day and the world around me. It was far colder at night, but that was always the moment I chose to take a dip and clear my head.
When it came to Jamie, I figured the best thing I could do was literally cool off.
Normally, I’d have a swimsuit, but I’d foregone it after doing my nightly check at the construction site to make sure no one was messing around or damaging the work we’d done. It was a rarity to find someone there after warnings and wishes from Leo and Hazel, but if there were interlopers, they were usuallydoing something harmless, like having a drink on half-formed structures or looking at the stars. Hell, even I’d done it myself a couple of dozen times.
The walk back was always quiet and allowed me time to clear my head. We didn’t use the dock I liked to swim off for activities, and it was far from the pods, which was great because it gave me the peace I was looking for at the end of the night.
With each stroke I made, the cool waters enveloped me, soothing my mind. The familiarity of our camp nestled against the expansive lake brought me solace. It was a sanctuary where I could swim and immerse myself in tranquility, far removed from the crowded lanes at the college gym I used to frequent. As I looked up at the clear sky, a sense of wonder brought me peace. I continued the rest of my swim in backstroke, letting my restless thoughts settle.
As I observed the graceful flock of birds above me, all traces of stress melted away, but it only lasted so long. It wasn’t a few seconds after I did a twenty-five-yard lap and somersault underwater that questions flooded my mind. Questions I had little time to get answers to. How did he fill his spare time? Did he like his job, his home, his life? Had he enjoyed college after we broke up? That one stung a little to think about, but the grown-up side of me hoped he had. The less mature side wished he’d wondered about me now and then. And maybe pined just a little.
I floated on my back, my fingers dangling as I pondered this, until I heard muffled laughter and righted myself immediately.
“You know you want to,” someone said.
Shit.I moved quickly, trying not to splash too much as I made my way to the pylons.
“I am not going to ask him if he wants to Netflix and chill in the middle of the forest. Besides, no one uses that phrase anymore.Which goes to show how long it’s been for you since you’ve tried dating, you recluse.”
“Okay, then, hear me out: you do the yawning arm around shoulders thing—”
Oh god.
“No wonder you don’t have a girlfriend.”
It was Ren and Jamie.
I didn’t know how I’d missed them. They must have been at the ax range. The axes and bows were put away, but it was an open, isolated field.Fuck.
“It’s a classic. Or you could—” Jamie stopped talking.
I tried to see him, but I had no view.
“Or I could what?” Ren said. “Jamie? Hello?”
“You could just ask him out. He lives in Tacoma—that’s so close to us. But you can’t miss your opportunity now, especially when he’s living ten feet from you.”
Their voices drifted off, and I sighed in relief, swimming around for another five minutes before two feet stood above me on the dock.
“Breaking the rules? I see I had a good influence on you.”
I looked up and sighed. “Hi, Jamie,” I said guiltily. I hoped the dark water provided enough cover for me, but it wasn’t like he hadn’t seen the goods before.
“Autumn, Autumn, Autumn.” His shit-eating grin practically lit up the lake. “You know the rules. No swimming without a buddy.”
“That’s without a lifeguard, idiot. So, if you’re not trained, you should probably just…” I waved my hand in amove alonggesture.
“Yeah, well, there’s safety in numbers.”
“And there’s annoyance in clichés,” I joked, pushing my damp hair behind my ear. He was in gym shorts and a hoodie. It took me back to when he’d worn a similar outfit on game days.That was what you got to see when your boyfriend was always on the go and constantly playing sports. When I was younger, I’d wondered why sophomore him had decided to date a quiet freshman like me. He’d had so much going for him, and I hadn’t fit the mold of a popular guy’s girlfriend. “How’d you even find me?”
“Maybe don’t leave a pile of clothes out in the open.”
