Mandy narrowed her eyes in disbelief, and I knew I’d have to prove myself. “They told me you turned your back on them. On us.”
I clenched my jaw painfully before releasing it. “Mom’s exact words were, ‘If you think you’re going to shame this family by going off and being an Instagram model, don’t bother coming home.’” I couldn’t let her off the hook. For once, I was going to hold her accountable. I wasn’t going to be passive and let my sister believe her lies. “I’ve tried to tell you this before, but you keep fighting me every time I do.”
Mandy’s eyes narrowed. Was she surprised? Ashamed? Disbelieving? “I don’t know, Nat.”
That was disappointing, but I wasn’t about to beg for her understanding. “Well, now you know my side of it. Take it as you will.”
We silently took sips of our blackberry mojitos until our server came by and dropped off our food. After that, we were back to superficial conversation about wedding stuff, which was a welcome reprieve, given the emotional conversations I’d had back to back. But it left me wondering if this was yet another relationship I needed to push aside for my own mental health. When someone didn’t believe you, how real could things actually be?
THIRTY-THREE
Nat
It wasthe kind of party my family loved to throw. Cocktail hour, followed by a big dinner, coming in at a little over a hundred people. I’d been to a million of these things, and I’d never felt more out of place.
Was it all in my head, or were most of them looking at me?
A loud clatter came from across the elegant ballroom, and as I found the location of the commotion, my eyes bugged out of my head. All heads were turned Jack’s way, as if everyone here could tell that he wasn’t supposed to be here.
My breath caught in my throat, and the ringing in my ears didn’t let up as I took him in. Jack in a sports coat and slacks. Jack.Here. Was I hallucinating? He and the server he’d obviously run into had bent over to pick up the spilled food from a tray the server had been carrying. I left my conversation with my sister’s sorority without explanation and rushed over to the mess. My stepfather would definitely chastise me if he knew this was because of me.
Jack let out a string of apologies to the man holding crushed canapés on a silver platter. When he left, Jack stood up and swiped at his knees to brush off the dirt from the floor. Then he straightened, his eyes trailing up my legs to my face.
“What are you doing here?” I whispered in exasperation.
A charming grin spread across Jack’s face, and it nearly had me buckling. He placed his arm on my bicep and moved me away from the swinging kitchen door. “I needed to talk to you.”
How had he even found me? I swallowed the question, mostly due to shock.
Jack answered as if I’d asked it anyway. “Hazel told me you were at a country club, and I called around looking for the Breckenridge party. Do you know how many there are in this city? Fourteen. That’s just excessive, don’t you think?”
Someone tinked a glass and alerted us that it was time to take our seats.
I swallowed, choosing to focus on the pink dahlias and eucalyptus crowding crystal vases that were centered on each of the round tables. The head table’s bouquets were giant poofs of peach and white. It was all very classy and reminded me of a world I used to belong to. I turned to the table I was meant to be at. It was just twenty feet away. I could make it without falling apart. “I can’t do this right now.”
Any hope that he would leave quickly went away as I pulled out my seat. A sharp scraping sound came from behind me. The sound of a chair being pulled across parquet wood flooring. This place was dated as hell.
“Do you mind?” he asked as he pushed the chair between me and my cousin, Paige.
She did, in fact, mind. She glared at him as he moved between us, unsuccessfully, since he could only fit a leg in the space, his other leg crammed up against my chair. “You look beautiful,” he whispered in my ear. The hairs on my neck stood on end as his breath caressed the skin there.
I turned my head, ready to unleash hell on the man with the utter gall to say such a thing, when more glass tinking filled the space.
My mother and stepfather stood behind my sister and her fiancée’s chairs. My mother took the mic. “Thank you all for coming to celebrate Amanda’s engagement.”
I rolled my eyes. No mention of Shoshanna, but sure.
“Many of you know how much pride I have for my two daughters, Amanda and Natalie, who have both achieved great things.”
Wait… What? My mother had only expressed pride for me on a few occasions: after I’d done well at political events, at my graduations, and when I’d accepted a job at her company. Maybe this was the turning of a new leaf? Maybe the estrangement was finally over. “We are so excited to welcome yet another daughter into the fold. To Amanda and Shoshanna.” She raised her glass. “May your impending marriage be fruitful and full of possibility.”
Everyone repeated, “To Amanda and Shoshanna,” before taking sips of their drinks. I did the same, but my smile made it difficult to consume anything. Had she actually admitted she was proud? What was happening?
I turned to find Mandy, who looked every bit the happy bride-to-be, beaming at her intended. I was happy she didn’t make eye contact with me. After all the foot-dragging I’d been doing, I’d clearly been wrong about our parents wanting me here, but I was much happier being wrong than being right.
Mom and Dean sat down on the other side of our twelve-person table, and I was resolved to break the ice despite the barnacle attached to my side. “How are you, Mom?”
She glanced up from her champagne glass. “I’m fine, Natalie. Happy for your sister.”
