I lifted my head and found him smiling at me. Again.
I continued, this time a little more eloquently. “I like being able to see how different cultures are, even across the continental US. The helpful locals, their favorite hole-in-the-wall restaurants, and the waterfalls off the beaten path. I create my itineraries in advance, but I always leave some wiggle room for when someone local recommends somewhere specific I need to try. It’s a lot of work maintaining both the business and social sides, but it’s worth it.” I took a sip of my wine, swishing it in my mouth. “I like being a nomad because it allows me to fly under the radar a little.”
“Under the radar? You don’t run into people who know who you are?”
“I mean, occasionally, but interactions are usually harmless these days. It’s nothing compared to how they used to be when I was little.” Shit. I tried to let it go, but he waited patiently for an explanation. “I was in the public eye, even before this, I guess. My last name is Breckenridge.” I kicked myself for my slipup. I didn’t need people to know who I was.
Chase’s eyes went wide. “Like, the famous Breckenridges?” His face shifted from confusion to understanding. “Wasn’t your grandfather a vice president?”
“Yep.” My grandfather’s platform when he ran for president was family first. I’d been to more political events than I could count. My father’s unexpected death had been fodder for months. And now my mother ran one of the biggest holding companies in the country, spanning generations.
“That must have been really hard as a kid.”
I had a lot of privilege, but my childhood wasn’t a cakewalk. “It got a lot better once they stopped forcing me to go to events. But there is a reason my real name isn’t tied to my account. I still get randos messaging me when they figure it out.” I shrugged, ready for a subject change. “What about you? What state are you from again?”
He talked about his hometown in Montana, which was even smaller than Wildwood. I watched him light up, talking about the differences, and found myself thinking about how handsome he was when he smiled, which was pretty much always. He’d never fit into my family, who were more known for their drive, not their kindness.
Chase had this boy-next-door look. He exuded friendliness in a way Jack never could. His face couldn’t hide anything if he tried, and his dimple made me want to pat his cheek like an auntie. He had cared about his outfit today. There wasn’t awrinkle in sight, unlike the well-worn T-shirt Jack had on before I left. His ruggedness and off-putting attitude that he always showed around me definitely didn’t belong in a nice restaurant like this.
And now Jack was back in my head, the last place I wanted him to be.
Had I really just attempted to get myself off to him on the same day as this date? Guilt washed over me. Was it wrong to use your enemy as masturbation material when you had a date with another person? If the orgasm didn’t happen, did it even count? My answer was no, and this was a first date anyway, so I should stop being hard on myself. The event was a fluke, triggered by feelings stirred by a dream. They weren’t real. And it was never going to happen. But it still aggravated me.
“Nat?”
“Sorry, what?”
Chase seemed unfazed by my inability to pay attention. “I asked about your time at Starlight last year. Were you a counselor the entire summer?”
“No, I was only here for six weeks. Someone had to leave, and Hazel asked if I could make myself free. It’s nice having a regular bed for a little while. It can get rough living out of a car.”
He nodded. “I bet. And now you’re dealing with it again. How has that living arrangement been?”
“Oh. Well, that’s been tricky.”
Chase smiled, waiting for me to elaborate. I reached for my nearly empty glass of wine and realized it was starting to go to my head, so I held back.
“If it had been anyone other than Jack, I’d be fine. But he’s exhausting. And messy. And he does this thing where he thinks the temperature should be kept at sixty. I’m going to freeze, Chase. Death by AC. Not to mention he’s more moody than he’ll admit to and even more stubborn.”
“Oh, boy.”
“He also wears shoes in the house and purposely uses the hot water while I’m showering.” I was on a roll. “And he doesn’t know when to just admit he’s wrong. And he has zero taste in music. But it’s fine. Just fine.”
Right as I realized I’d been bitching, I noticed a couple walking our way. Kai, the craft store owner, greeted us, accompanied by his boyfriend, Simon, the general store owner.
I waved. “Hi, you two. How was dinner?”
“Good,” they said in unison. “Great,” they both tried, as if to sound original but failing. The four of us laughed, garnering the attention of a few patrons.
“The lobster gyoza is really good if you haven’t ordered yet,” Simon pointed out.
Chase nodded in agreement. “That’s what I said.”
The men lingered as if waiting for something, and I realized how rude I’d been. “I don’t know if you’ve met, but this is Chase. He’s a counselor, too.”
I made their introductions, and Chase stood to shake hands, garnering supportive looks from the couple.
Kai smiled at me as if we were in cahoots. He seemed to approve. So why was my head not here with Chase?
