“I don’t get it, Rose,” he says when he stops in front of my house. “You could make a change if you wanted to. You could do so much better than this—you could doanything. Why stay there?”
It’s my parents’ words in Reed’s voice. I can’t describe how much I hate it. The one thing I’ve fully claimed for myself simply because I enjoy it, and it’s not good enough. I’ve managed to stop caring what they think about it, but Reed joining in their criticism lands like a sucker punch.
“You’re the one who doesn’t like working in the coffee shop.” My voice betrays me by cracking, but I get the words out. “I love it.”
He sits there stunned like I said something revolutionary. I don’t know how it could have been anything other than obvious, but apparently it was.
I gather my purse and open the car door. “I’ll see you later.”
His mouth drops open, but he doesn’t argue. I rush up the walkway, hoping against hope he doesn’t follow me to ask more questions. He obeys my unspoken request and doesn’t get out, but he stays at the curb until I’ve closed myself in my house.
I flip on the lights and lean back against the door. After saying so often that my wants and needs are important, Reed sounded exactly like my parents tonight. Whether he meant to or not, the message was the same—I can’t be trusted to make my own choices. Like what I want isn’t good enough.“You could make a change if you wanted to.”
Just do something different. Just try something else. Just be someone other than who I am.
Stormy strolls down the stairs, looping once around my ankles before slinking away to rub against the two-foot-tall abstract iron horse sculpture standing next to the entry table. Ugh. This house is full of horses, cows, and donkeys.
I stare at the vaguely horse-shaped iron loops, a decision forming in my mind.“Your wants and needs are valid.”And it’s long past time I made a change.
I go out to the garage to get a cardboard box and start packing my parents’ western decor.
text thread
Reed: Can I bring you an apology pie from Blackbird’s?
Reed: Strawberry-rhubarb?
Rose: You don’t have to apologize
Reed: Yes I do. I overstepped
Reed: I hurt your feelings
Reed: I’m sorry, Rose
Reed: But I’d really like to tell you in person
Rose: Do you want to join my painting party?
Reed: Yes
Reed: Anything
Reed: What are we painting?
Rose: My living room
Reed: I’m in
Reed: Can I bring dinner?
Reed: Your choice
Rose: Chicken tacos from Luz Solar
Reed: Done
Rose: But I still want the pie
