Okay, not really what I was hoping to hear but…it’s surprisingly reassuring. I’ve done it before. It doesn’t feel the same this time around, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be able to handle it if all my worst fears come true.
“But I have some experience with being wrong about someone.” Cassie slides her empty plate to the edge of the table and takes a sip of her Dr. Pepper. “My ex-husband was pretty good at hiding his red flags, but the signs were there. Does Reed ignore what you want so he can have his own way?”
“No. He tells me all the time that what I want is important. He’s made it a point that I need to domoreof what I want.” He’s achingly supportive that way.
“Does he talk over you when you try to open up, making everything about him?”
He gives me his whole attention when I talk. “He’s a really good listener.”
“Does he criticize you in small ways so if you point it out, he can say it was all in your head?”
“No.” The closest he’s been to criticizing me is telling me I could do anything I wanted to for work. I’m not entirely sure that counts. “He’s really positive and encouraging.”
Cassie narrows her eyes. “Does he tell you to grow up when you sing in the kitchen?”
I wrinkle my nose. “No, and if these are all first-hand experiences, I think I hate your ex-husband.”
“Me, too. But from what I hear, it doesn’t sound like Reed is trying to manipulate or deceive you. Fake dating notwithstanding. By the way, we’re going to need to exchange book lists because it sounds like your romcom reading is peak.”
I laugh at that. Accurate.
“I didn’t actually plan it.” I just went along with it and took it to the natural outcome: falling madly in love with my fake boyfriend.
“Obviously, I don’t know him at all,” she goes on. “But he sounds like a good man. One who really cares about you. And forwhat it’s worth, he couldn’t take his eyes off you that day at the library.”
My cheeks immediately heat as if I didn’t just unload way more personal details on her than this little tidbit. “What?”
She slow-nods. “Oh, yeah. I’m surprised he could finish the craft, his eyes were so glued to you. He was sneaky about it, but he watched you the whole time. It was pretty adorable.” She takes another sip of pop, her head tilted to the side. “When I went into Perk Me Up that first day, he was doing the same thing.”
I’m definitely grinning a stupid amount. “He was probably just double-checking his drink prep.”
She gives me a “Sure, Jan” nod. “That’s probably all it was. Guys always make swoony-faces when they’re serious about work.”
I know the look she means. I’ve watched it a thousand times on that video of us they posted the first night at the coffee cart. I’ve been afraid to follow that clue, but I’m going to put on my Sherlock hat and deduce they recorded itbeforewe started “faking.” How long has he been watching me like that, and I had no idea? After everything his brothers said at the cabin, I’m guessing it’s been a while.
“In spite of having to start over again at thirty-three, I still believe in love. I know there’s a good man out there for me. One who’s loyal and stable and responsible. Someone mature and ready for lifelong love and a family, just like I am.” She takes my hand again, holding on this time. “I believe there’s someone for you, too. Maybe it’s Reed. Are you going to let your past influence your future and risk letting him go if it is?”
“I did not expect to cry today.” I swipe beneath my eyes with my free hand. I’ve never fought for a relationship before, but I’ve never had so much to lose, either. “Do wedding coordinators serve as part-time therapists, too?”
“Babe, it’s so much drama, you would not believe. But most of the time, couples wind up happy in the end.” She grins widely atme. “And the ones that don’t have happy endings make great stories to tell at parties.”
Cassie and I finish our dinner date with a warm hug and promises to get together again soon. I walk the block to where I parked my car, full of so much optimism and hope, I’m woozy on it. Not just because of these giddy feelings for Reed, but for finding a new friend, too. Apart from him, it’s been a long time since someone lifted me up so freely. I can’t wait to see her again and be the same kind of friend back.
I’m almost to my car when my phone buzzes with a text. My thoughts immediately go to the coffee shop, and if Reed’s come to his decision already. But it’s not from him.
It’s a text from my mom. There’s a link to an article titled, “How to finally break your dating curse” with the note, “Good tips here!”
Just like that, my happiness shatters like sugar cubes dropped on the sidewalk. I make my way to my car, my eyes welling with tears for the second time this afternoon. She’s so careless with my feelings, it’s like she thinks I don’t have any. Even my new friend showed better care with my heart.
I shut myself up in the car, my limbs buzzing like I’m covered in bees. I need a minute to settle my nerves before I drive home. I turn the battery on to roll the windows down, taking calming breaths that don’t actually soothe.
I know what I need to do. I’ve just never done it before.Whenever you wake up, it’s always morning. It’s time for me to wake up.
I hit the phone symbol on Mom’s text. She answers on the first ring.
“Rosie! Did you get some good advice from that article? She really goes into depth about being the kind of girl men are looking for, and?—”
“Mom, no.” I take a deep breath. “I didn’t read it. I…” I take another big gulp of air. “It hurts when you send me things like this.”
