“What did you do?” Julian demanded in a tone that Clara knew at once would do nothing but make the poor girl shrink further into herself which it promptly did.
“Mary,” Clara said gently, getting up and crossing to stand at her side. “Tell us what happened. Take your time.”
The girl looked at her with something close to gratitude.
“There was an accident in the kitchen this morning, and Mrs. Parker was needed there, so I went upstairs when Nell asked me to. She asked me to sit with the little lord for a while, and I did. I stayed near half an hour, but then I had to…” she faltered,“… I had to relieve myself, My Lady.”
“You had towhat,” Julian said, his voice rough.
Tears sprang to the girl’s eyes. “I only went quickly. I was gone perhaps ten minutes. When I came back the cradle was empty, and I thought perhaps Mrs. Parker had taken him, or Mrs. Holt had come back for him. I went downstairs and asked Nell and Mrs.…”
“She came to me at once,” Mrs. Parker said. “I told her Mrs. Holt had likely returned and taken him out to find her.”
“I went outside and looked everywhere she likes to walk with the children,” Mary said, “but I could not see anything. And then I saw Mrs. Holt come rushing up, and then Charles and Mr. Richmond all rushing about, and I?—”
She pressed her hands over her face and looked down. Mrs. Parker put a hand on her shoulder. The girl flinched away from it.
“I’m so sorry,” she said again. “I didn’t mean anything by it. I never meant any harm to that precious little angel.”
Julian’s chest rose and fell. Clara could see exactly how much restraint it was taking him not to shout at this trembling fifteen-year-old, and she placed a hand at the small of his back. To her relief, he exhaled.
“Very well,” he said. “You may go.”
“Am I—will I lose my place?”
He took a breath, and this time, Clara spoke before he could.
“No,” she said firmly. “This was an honest mistake. You did not know there was any danger here because no one told you there was. Your position is quite safe. But in future, do not hide yourself away out of fear. It only makes things worse for everyone, including you.”
The girl curtsied deeply. “Thank you, My Lady.”
Julian turned and walked to the window where Mrs. Holt still stood looking out.
“Incompetence,” he muttered under his breath.
“She did not know any better,” Mrs. Parker said. “The little one has never been watched so closely before, and nobody told the staff there was any danger at all. That falls to us, Your Grace, not to her.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Parker. You may go,” Julian said, without turning around. Clara placed a hand on the housekeeper’s arm and nodded for her to leave.
Once she had gone, Clara tipped her chin towards Mrs. Holt, who took the hint and left them as well. When it was just the two of them, Clara stepped closer.
“You do not need to say it. I was unnecessarily harsh with that girl.”
“It is understandable. But she is only a girl, and truly, none of them knew there was any danger at all.”
“I know it.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “Perhaps we approached this wrong from the start. Perhaps we ought to have told the servants something, anything, to keep them more vigilant. I do not know. I do not trust my own judgment anymore.”
Clara turned him gently towards her and cupped his face. “Your judgment has been sound throughout all of this. Do not letanyone tell you otherwise. Not even that voice in your own head.” She paused. “What is truly wrong?”
“Clara.” His voice cracked slightly on her name. “I do not know what to do. For the first time in my life, I am entirely without a plan.”
She wanted to comfort him properly, but the honest truth was she felt precisely the same. From this moment, there was nothing more either of them could do but wait.
“We will hope,” she said. “We will pray. And then we will believe, with everything we have, that what we hoped and prayed for will come to pass.”
He wrapped his arms around her and held her close, and in that embrace, against everything, Clara found a small flicker of hope still alive.
CHAPTER 33
