Yes!
“Not at all. But it would be nice to know, so that I am not made to look like a fool when the secret is out.” She folded her arms and cocked an eyebrow at him in defiance.
He looked down at her, considering her as he did so often. There was no humor in his eyes, no judgment either. It was as if hewere trying to decide something. To tell her the truth or not, she assumed.
“Grab your coat,” he said as he stepped around the table.
“What? Why?”
He turned back and looked at her, offering a coy wink. “You wish to find out where I have been going? It might be easier if I show you.”
“You… you are going to show me?”
“If you want to know.”
She did, more than she cared to admit. Having no idea what Sebastian had been doing in his spare time, she sensed that it was important and personal, and his wanting to show her was further proof of how he truly felt about her.
“I’ll meet you outside!” She was up from her chair and striding across the room.
“Going somewhere?” he laughed.
“If you think I am wearing this…” She gestured to her gown. “A quick change of clothes, I think. Don’t worry.” She winked to match his cheekiness. “I’ll be quick. Just don’t leave without me.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it.”
CHAPTER 17
The good mood that had carried Helena through dinner, creating that sense of comfort and familiarity between her and Sebastian, felt like a distant thing the longer the carriage ride went on.
She had been eager when she first climbed into the carriage, even excited to find out where Sebastian was taking her—that he wanted to show her whatever it was he had been doing.
The thrill was quick to fade, and it became quite obvious that Sebastian was not nearly as excited as she was. He appeared nervous and unsure, hesitant in this decision, likely questioning if this had been such a good idea.
Thus, they sat in silence as the carriage ride stretched, the tension built, the questions gathered, and the awkwardness grew between them.
Helena tried her best not to appear apprehensive. She smiled and did what she could to look comfortable, and even grateful. Sebastian, however, spent the ride in the corner, facing the window, a steely gaze fixed on the passing countryside, sternness written all over his face.
More than once, Helena thought to try to break the silence, to find that same atmosphere that had permeated dinner. And more than once, she caught her tongue and held it, understanding rightly that now was not the time.
Perhaps I should have stayed home. This feels so personal and so important to Sebastian that once it is done, there will be no going back. For better or for worse.
They arrived at the outskirts of London a little over one hour after leaving. She sat by the window, watching the city approach.
Helena had traveled to London many times, and she knew the routes well enough that she recognized the road they traveled on and guessed they were heading toward the city center.
That was until the carriage took a sharp turn.
“Oh.” She blinked and pulled herself back into the carriage. “We’re not… Where are we going?” She turned to Sebastian for an answer.
It was dark in the carriage, his face shadowed, his eyes glimmering as he watched her. “You will see,” was all he said.
She thought to push, but then held her tongue, turning once again to watch the city pass by.
The further they went, the more confused she became. It seemed to her that they were heading to the eastern districts, which she knew to be the poorer sector of the city. She had never been there herself, because why would she bother? And why would a duke?
She shifted as her nerves built. The buildings that lined the streets slowly turned more slovenly and shabby. The road became bumpier. The smell of filth and grime began to sting her nostrils.
Her pulse quickened. She was not scared, because there was no reason. She was, however, cautious, her mind going to places she tried to keep it from. There was no danger while she was with Sebastian, but this area was dangerous.
