How could it be possible? How had she not known? And how could she have been so wrong about her husband?
“I don’t understand. You… you volunteer? You own this place? What is it?”
He smiled softly, not at all put out by her panic. “I help where I can. This…” He gestured to the warehouse and the children. “It might seem like a big thing, but it is a fraction of what these children deserve. And all the money in the world won’t save them as they need.”
She shook her head. “That doesn’t answer my question.”
“I can’t adopt them all,” he told her. “I wish I could, but that is unfeasible. And again, it won’t make the difference that is needed. There will always be more children who need help, more hopeless souls who never stood a chance. For these children to have that chance, as well as the ones who come after them, real change has to occur. The root of the problem must be addressed, and that can only happen at one place.”
Helena’s mind was reeling, which was why it took her so long to understand and put together the pieces that he was laying before her.
She searched his eyes, seeing the passion burning behind them. She looked around the warehouse again, the dozens of children, the sheer enormity of what it took to house and feed what was only a small fraction of the orphans likely living in London. And finally, she thought back to one of the first questions she had asked Sebastian all those weeks ago, never answered, now painfully clear.
She gasped. “That is why… you and I…”
He nodded. “Laws need to be written to protect children. And not just these children, but all of them. Hundreds, if not thousands, across London and the country. And once written, these same laws need to be passed. Which is hard to do when nobody takes you seriously.”
“But you are well respected. You are taken seriously.”
“In some ways,” he admitted. “But on a scale far too small. Marriage to you helped restore my image and earn me favor among various party members, to signal to them that I am a man to be taken seriously. Someone who is willing to do what it takes, no matter the cost. I married you to make a difference, Helena. Not to my life, but to the lives of those who need it most.”
“And can you?” she asked, her voice a trembling whisper. “Can you make a difference?”
A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “I hope so. That is why I need you with me. That is why this marriage…” He reachedfor her hand and took it. “That is why it must work, at least until I can secure the future of these children. I owe it to them.”
She almost asked what he meant by that. Why he thought that he owed it to them.
She almost asked so many things. What started all of this? Why did he not tell her sooner? Who was he really, to put his own desires and aspirations aside so that he could help children with whom he had no connection?
But she did not ask those questions. It was not the right time.
As he held her hands and looked determinedly at her, as he pleaded with her to understand, she felt a flicker deep inside her very soul. It was like a fire being lit, burning gently but gathering in fierceness. It swept over her, erupted such that her heart just about exploded from it.
And so it was that she understood without question what she felt.
Oh no…
Her husband was not who she had thought him to be. His feelings for her… that almost felt irrelevant. He was more than she could have dreamed of, too perfect that she could hardly stand it, and her determination to fight against her growing feelings for him withered and died because the fight was lost.
For the first time ever, Helena allowed herself to wonder what life might be like, being married to a man like this. To hope for it.
She smiled at the thought, her heart swelling. The danger was obvious, the betrayal of everything she had known was real, and stranger still, she simply did not care.
At least not right now. Likely, that would hit her soon, and it would do so hard and painfully. But for now, best to revel in the moment because moments like this one come but rarely.
CHAPTER 18
It was only supposed to be one visit to the orphanage. Not something that was discussed or agreed upon, but a decision that Helena made personally because she felt that it was for the best.
Seeing her husband with those children, learning who he truly was in ways that she had never imagined was possible, was dangerous for so many reasons.
Her heart cracked, the struggle she was fighting weakened such that she wanted to lose, and the man whom she had no choice but to marry, while telling herself that she could not wait for it to end, was transformed into the type of hero she might write about in her stories.
The perfect man did not exist in the real world, and this was a truth Helena had sworn to stand by. But Sebastian…
He is unlike any man I have ever met or thought to meet. Selfless. Caring. A once-in-a-lifetime specimen of such utter perfection that I can’t help but feel drawn to.
Perhaps that was a slight exaggeration, but it told clearly of Helena’s state of mind.
