They stayed there through the night, with Helena sitting on the bed beside Daniel’s head, stroking his face. She told him stories as if he could hear them. She laughed softly as if that might rouse him. She spoke simply to pass the time and distract, because it was needed.
And Sebastian stayed on his knees, holding Daniel’s hand the whole while, refusing to look away or leave his side because doing so suggested that it might just kill him.
Helena and Sebastian said nothing to one another, but there was no need. An understanding seemed to pass between them, each knowing the significance of this moment and what it represented.
What would come of it? Helena could not say. In truth, as things stood, it did not matter.
The hours stretched. The sounds of children waking began to fill the warehouse.
Morning light streamed through the windows and shone across Daniel’s sweaty face. And finally, after so many hours and so much worrying, his eyes opened slowly. He saw Helena and Sebastian there with him. He frowned and then smiled.
Sebastian’s tears caught in his throat, and Helena allowed her own to fall down her cheeks.
“You… you are here,” Daniel wheezed.
“Of course we are,” Sebastian said, sniffing back tears and squeezing the boy’s hand. “As soon as we heard…”
“And we’re not going anywhere.” Helena looked at Sebastian, who nodded. She smiled, and he managed a smile back. “That much, we promise you.”
CHAPTER 24
They rode back to the estate in silence. Not that Sebastian noticed. He was too lost in his head. Too emotionally shattered from the evening. Too lost in his thoughts as he tried to reckon with what had just happened and what it meant to him. What it had revealed.
There was no question about how he felt about the children at the orphanage. How attached to their safety he was. He had not put himself through all of this because he thought it might make him look good, or because he was trying to get away with something. He simply cared that much.
Rather, it was Helena’s presence that he focused on the most. That from which he could not escape, and how significant it felt to him.
When they had climbed into the carriage together, rather than sitting across from him as she always did, she chose to take the spot right by his side. She then took his hand and held it in her lap, not because he asked her to, but because she wanted to.
She wanted to comfort him. To make him feel better. To make him realize that he was not alone in this.
He dared to glance at her. She was staring out the window, deep in thought. But he noticed often throughout the night the way she had looked at him.
It was the same look she held him in each time she saw him with the children. As if she was seeing another side of him. A side that she was not afraid to get close to, that she wanted to get to know better.
For a moment, Sebastian’s thoughts strayed back to the previous night when he confessed how he was starting to feel about her. She had turned him away, confirming that she wanted nothing to do with him. It had hurt, but he accepted it, even recognizing that it was for the best.
Only now…
She is as confused as I am. As stubborn and desperate to deny what is growing between us. Like me, she is terrified of what might happen should we give in. And like me, she will do almost anything to stop that from happening.
But she was here now. Maybe it was just because of how she cared for Daniel?
Only that felt like a small fraction of it.
In truth, he knew that she cared for him. She was here because she wanted to comfort him through this moment. Because their lives were attached, whether they wanted it or not. And that was what mattered.
Sebastian considered the situation.
Last night, Helena had said that he did not know her, which was true enough. And she used that as a shield to defend her decision not to grow any closer.
If Sebastian wished it, he could respect her wishes and forget about her. Divorce himself from his feelings and admit that the two of them were about to go off alone.
Only, do I want such a thing? She does not know me, as I do not know her. But if she were given the chance to see the real me, would that change? Do I want it to?
He did, he realized. Despite what they both claimed, this marriage had changed beyond what either could have imagined. And if it stood even the smallest chance of growing further, Sebastian felt he owed it to himself to try.
He remembered how she was with Daniel. A smile reached his lips. She was so much more than she let herself believe. And so was he.
