I head for the lake. I’ve never been in a lake before. I was always too scared there were fish in there and what if the bottom was slimy?
As I catch sight of the water, doubt and confusion hurdle around inside me. I want to dive in the dark water and let it swallow me,so I don’t have to think or feel or wonder about what I should or shouldn’t do here.
I’m so out of my element with these crazy feelings.
I stop, leaning forward, bracing my arms on my bent knees, then stand straight, unclipping the green metal clip from my belt, cocking back to throw it into the water.
“What are you going to do?” I whisper-ask myself, my arm frozen, ready to throw the strange but emotional gift into the dark water but the silence is broken with footsteps from behind me.
It’s gotta be Dolly.
A hand encases my upper arm, squeezing. Hard.
Dolly’s been working out, I think as I turn, and I find myself face to chest withhim.
“What are you…?” I glance around, but we’re alone, and he’s definitely not been chasing me down. His breathing is calm and steady but the set of his chin and the way he’s hollowing his cheeks makes him look more intense than usual. “How did you find me?”
“I was about to ask you the same thing. How’d you know where I was?”
“I didn’t…” I shake my head, as he tugs my arm down, pressing the carabiner back into my palm and closing my fingers around the cool aluminum. I’m overcome again with his size and the odd comfort I feel when I’m close to him, even in the midst of so much uncertainty and overwhelming emotions. Not to mention, the idea that what we did last night could be creating something inside me right now.
Price grunts, a muscle in his cheek ticks. “Then why were you running? What were you going to do with that? You shouldn’t be out here alone.”
“I was running because I wanted to and I was…never mind. I shouldn’t behereat all. Here, I mean, in all this,” The certainty in my voice falters as I think of how I called him Daddy. How he called himself Daddy. What was I thinking? That was a bit over the top for a girl’s first time, right?
Then why did it feel so good?
“Doesn’t matter. We’re going to talk.” The words come out stuttering and stalled, like he’s forcing them out of his throat. “I hate talking, but with you, it’s all I seem to want to do.”
I raise my eyebrows for a second and he rolls his eyes.
“Okay, that’s not the only thing, but it’s something I’ve never wanted to do with anyone else.”
I release a sardonic chuckle, feeling the tears start to sting the corners of my eyes again. “It’s okay. I get it. Let’snottalk. I’mtired of talking. I don’t want to hear you say we can’t be together. You were straight with me from the beginning, and I’m just a stupid, stupid girl.”
“Don’tevercall yourself stupid,” he growls, his massive hands resting on the sides of my head, encasing me with their power as I squeeze the metal clip in my hand.
His gaze makes my heart thunder. It’s like being trapped by a mountain lion, one that’s decided I’m his next meal. And I’m too confused to fight it.
“Don’teverput yourself down,” he repeats. “You’re perfect. Too perfect. I have no right to ask anything of you, my Daisy, but I’m going to anyway, because I can’t imagine a future without you in it. I love you, baby. Like, love you, love you, you get it?”
I open my mouth, then hesitate as I catch sight of a tiny movement on the top of his shoulder. I squint, knowing instantly what’s coming.
Heat blasts through me, but for once, it’s not fear, it’s just… annoyance.
I clip the carabiner back on my belt loop on a huff.
I’m annoyed at the spider crawling down the sleeve of Price’s gray t-shirt, but I’m more annoyed at my own naiveté about summer flings and no strings.
Seems there’s no such thing.
I reach up and flick the black creeper off his arm, watching it fly in an arc through the air, then cross my arms. A crow caws in the distance as I throw it all out there. “What about the TV deal? That’s sort of a non-starter for a relationship. I saw how much they’re offering you, Price, it’s a lot. I saw the…nofraternizationclause.”
“And it doesn’t mean a fucking thing if I don’t have you. I know you have plans too. Dolly told me. I’m ready to fit in with them. Me and Hailey. It will be a different kind of adventure, but one I want more than all the ones that came before. Whatever you want, we’ll make it work. I’ll get a job as a fucking bank teller. I don’t care, none of it means anything if you aren’t with us.”
I shake my head, turning up my hands. “You said you would never let Hailey grow up in the city. She’s happy here.”
He winces, as if at some deep pain. “She’s happy with me. And she’s happy when she’s with you. I’ll figure it out. I’ll keep you both safe, even if it means I never let you out of my sight. I… I don’t know. All I know is that I can’t be without you. And I can’t take away the things you want in your life.”
