Page 36 of My Husband Problem

The full truth is, I walked into this house, was actually shocked by how it was decorated, and instantly wanted it because it was completely opposite of anything Declan O’Grady would ever live in.

I cross my arms and lean back against the counter behind me. “Do you think it’s interesting?” I ask. “Really?”

“Of course. I’ve always lived in black and white and stainless steel. This place is about as opposite of that as you can get.”

Exactly.

“You could’ve changed that at any point. You could have easily hired people who could’ve painted, re-carpeted, redecorated,” I point out.

He nods, chewing on a strawberry. “I think I didn’t realize how boring it was. It was just background noise.” He looks up at me. “You didn’t have color like this in the places you lived, either.”

I shake my head. “No. I didn’t. I honestly didn’t know this kind of interior decorating still existed. I’ve maybe seen it in movies or on TV. Maybe in a passing magazine or something online. But I never actually thought that there would be entire rooms, not to mention a whole house, decorated like this.”

He nods, looking amused and strangely pleased. “So when you saw it, did you just fall in love and had to have it?”

“Why would you think that?” I ask. Does he know me? Does he have some kind of insight? Because, while I did not buy this house because I fell instantly in love, I do very much like how it is decorated now. Being inside this space makes me happy.

“It’s small and old,” he points out. “You could’ve bought anything or built something. There must be a reason that you chose this.”

Should I admit that I did it to be as different from his space as I could?

“I love it more now than I did at the beginning,” I say honestly.

“I can tell you like the space.”

“How?”

He points at my refrigerator with his fork. “The appliances are all new. But they’re in the style of the seventies. So you had to seek them out. And I assume pay a lot extra for them.” He points at the floor. “This flooring is all new. I assume they had to do something with the subfloor as well. The carpet in the living room is new, but also in the same style. The armchair out there is also new, which means you had to find a place that could match the theme. Not only did you stick with the seventies decor, but you had to actually search for these pieces.”

He’s exactly right, and of course, I should’ve known he would realize which things were new.

“I bought it because I needed a place and I liked the location and backyard, but I kept the décor because it was so different from what I was used to,” I say, giving him most of the truth.

He nods. “Going with totally different seems to be working for you. The hockey team. Ducks in your backyard.”

I wonder if he thinkshe’stotally different than my usual, or if he’s more like my usual.

I’d love to ask him.

I’ve typically gone for guys who let me always take the lead, let me call the shots, let me have my way.

Declan has been that so far. He’s let me spend his money. He’s ‘let me’ move across the country. He’s not pushed me for anything at all.

But I’ve found those men easy to walk away from. Or to push away.

I’ve been puzzled by him, though.

He initially pushed for the marriage. He pushed for us to do what his grandfather demanded. He pushes everyone elsearound him. He demands. He bosses. He takes charge with everyone else. All the time

He hasn’t with me. I’ve been… disappointed by that.

I didn’t realize it at first. At first, it was exactly what I wanted. And it’s what I shouldstillwant. But when I’m being totally honest with myself, I do wish he was more…interestedin me and what I’ve been doing.

Why do I want more attention from Declan?

Why am I always feeling this push-pull between wanting him to leave me alone and wanting him to pursue me?

Because he’s strong and confident and makes difficult but right decisions all the time, and deep down, you want him on your side. For everything. Because you think he could be the one to help you through all the challenges.