But now we were here. And Iwantedit—him.
“Yes,” I assured him. “Yes, but can we—condom, maybe?”
“Of course,” Sully said, dropping a hard kiss to my mouth before yanking open his bedside table and finding what he was looking for. I watched, mouth watering, as he unzipped his pants, tore open the foil, and rolled the rubber over his hard length. “Whatever you want, El.”
He didn’t ask me to explain, which was a saving grace.
I didn’t want to get pulled out of the moment—didn’t want to shift the tone of tonight, which felt like a celebration and for more reasons than one. More than just a birthday or a night alone. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, on why it felt that way. But I was okay with that. Sometimes, there was magic in mystery.
“I love you,” I whispered, and Sully’s eyes softened.
“I love you, too.” He dropped back over me, and I groaned as I felt his erection drag through my pussy, teasing me. “And I’m going to love fucking this tight little cunt until you’re screaming my name again.”
“Please,” I moaned, and I felt the curve of his lips against mine.
“How many times do you think I can make you come, birthdaygirl?” he breathed, and my eyes fluttered shut as he began to press into me. “Twenty-one is probably far-reaching, but I like a challenge.”
“Sullivan,” I laughed, and then I said his name again on a moan as he thrust inside me.
“Eleanor,” he breathed, his eyes fluttering shut. “Oh, fuck, El.”
We let our bodies do the talking after that.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
ellie
ANOTHER WEEK PASSED, LABOR Day had come and gone, and theMillennium Falconstill wasn’t finished.
But not for a lack of trying.
Some things just took a little bit longer.
We worked on it almost every day. And even though I’d originally gotten it for Sully’s benefit, it was one of the only things that had gotten me through the week. It was nice, feeling like I could get something right for once. And I liked being on the same team with Sully, solving something with him, following a plan that had an ending I knew we could reach.
It was so much easier putting something together than talking about the way everything fell apart.
Last night, we sat on the ground, and I studied Sully’s face while he concentrated on organizing the tiny blocks. My brain cataloged the lines that weren’t there before, evidence of the emotional exhaustion of this week.
I hoped he didn’t feel trapped here, hoped he didn’t feel like he had a responsibility to keep staying at Maple Street. Because even in moments of levity, when his lips twitched with a smile, or he tossed out one of his usual jokes and an air of familiaritysettled around us…even then, there was a heaviness in his gaze. And I didn’t know how not to feel guilty about it.
He tried not to let me see how this weighed on him, but I knew. In the same way that he could read me in a single glance, I knew.
“What would you like to do today?” Sully asked.
I sat at the kitchen table, cup of coffee in my hands.
It was decaf.
Still.
I wasn’t sure how to stop.
“I don’t know.”
I didn’t want to do anything. I didn’t even really want to change or shower. That would involve going into the bathroom, and I didn’t like looking down and seeing invisible pregnancy tests scattered on the floor or the striped rug that Theo had scooped me off, the one I’d lain on for God knows how long. It helped to use the upstairs bathroom, the one that didn’t have the rug. But it had the same tile. And it might be ridiculous to feel as thoughtilewas taunting me, but…
I sighed. Sully was looking at me with a familiar pained expression—the same one he’d been wearing all week.
