I slid back, leaving her body entirely.
Instant panic appeared on her face, gutting me further.
“What are you—” She gaped, pushing onto her elbows and staring at me, bewildered.
She didn’t want me to get too close, but she didn’t want me to leave, either. And I should care, maybe feel used, but I didn’t. Iwas just relieved to see it—how badly she needed me to finish what we’d started. Because I was nowhere close to being done.
Gripping her hips, I answered by flipping her over.
A squeal slipped out of her, but she didn’t protest. Of course she didn’t; she understood. We both wanted this, but looking at each other while we chased after it? It wasn’t working. I couldn’t let go the way I wanted to when her eyes were afraid to meet mine. Toholdmine the way they used to. I couldn’t make her feel me the way I wanted to if she was too far in her head about this. She was always so far in her fucking head, and I needed her unafraid to live on the surface, just for tonight. Just this once—that was what she wanted, and that was what I was going to deliver.
But I needed to be able to do it, too.
“El, I’m just…” Hands still on her hips, I yanked her back until she was on her knees and her feet were almost dangling off the end of the bed. She gasped, but then my thumbs massaged into the globes of her ass, and this throaty, aroused noise flew out of her. Hearing it and seeing her like this, on her hands and knees for me again,almostmade me come. “Trying to keep my shit together,” I admitted.
I thought maybe this might be easier—a position where her lips weren’t quite so readily available, where her eyes didn’t haunt me quite so openly. But now I was presented with the curve of her bare back and the reminder that her ass molded so perfectly beneath my hands. And her eyes followed me anyway, peeking over her shoulder.
“Can you keep your shit together while inside m?—”
I slapped the tip of my dick against her clit, and she pressed her open mouth into her shoulder, her eyes fluttering shut.
“Patience, Eleanor.” The words came out a touch harsh, which I supposed was better than what I really wanted to do.Beg. I wanted to beg for her to be patient with me. To understand that I’d been dreaming of this moment since she walked away from me, and I didn’t want to rush it but didn’t want to trust it, either. Ididn’t know how to do this in a way that wouldn’t completely destroy me, but I was going to fucking try. “Be good for me, okay? Be good, and I’ll give you what you need.”
Eyes still shut, she dropped her head. And waited.
I took a deep breath.
And then slowly slid back inside her.
Fuck.
God fucking damnit, she felt so goddamn good, and fuck, I almost wished she didn’t. Because I’dneverexperienced such a mix of heaven and hell.
I stopped when I was only halfway inside her, and she pulsed around my length. Tight and perfect and poised to take more of me. I stared as my hand moved without my permission, starting at her tailbone and dragging up her spine, memorizing the slope of her back. My fingers tangled in her short, dark hair, giving a little tug. So soft and silky, just how I remembered. She flung her head back with a groan.
“More,” she pleaded. “I know there’s more of you.”
“Mmm.” God, she was destroying me in all the good and bad ways. “So glad to know that you still have the length of my cock memorized. That the feel of me is imprinted on your body. In your fucking core, El.”
I thrust the rest of the way in, reuniting us.
It had only been minutes, maybe even seconds, and I’d missed being this deep so much.
She gasped. “Yes.”
Oh,hell.
“Fuck,” I groaned, driving into her again—hard. “Fuck, baby.”
This time, I didn’t have to worry about the look on her face when I called her baby. Instead, I just got to listen to her moan my name—the correct one—and I saw stars.
I saw other things, too: the curl of her fingers in the sheets, the tendril of hair that slid over her shoulder, falling around her face from the force of my thrusts, the bow of her body, welcoming me home.
I bent over her, leaning close enough to whisper in her ear while my cock found that magical spot inside her that made her cry out.
“I would love to hate you, but I can’t.” My voice scraped my throat on the way out. “Not when I know you and understand you more than you could ever realize. I will never hate you, Eleanor. But I’m not sure I can ever forgive you, either.”
Ellie shook her head while I rocked against her, continuing to hit her just right, in every way she wanted. And needed. Fuck, I couldn’t help but love the way she needed me.
