“No?”
That was unfortunate because I badly needed to know now. I badly needed to know whose bed she’d be sleeping in.
I needed to know if it was mine.
And that itwasn’tone of my brothers’.
“Probably Natalie’s?” She cocked her head to the side. “That’s the one I slept in the most growing up.”
“No it’s not, Eleanor.”
Fuck.
Something else I shouldn’t have said, as evidenced by the way Ellie’s cheeks glowed.
I took a step forward, stuffing my hands in my pockets so I wouldn’t have the urge to brush her bangs out of her eyes, just to see the spark in them better. “Remember all those summers Natalie came home from college? When you’d have sleepovers and then leave the door open? Sneak into my room after she fell asleep?”
“But there were other times, too, before that,” Ellie pointed out, making a little sound in the back of her throat. “When we were just friends.”
I shook my head, annoyed at her denial.
“I don’t think there’s ever really been a time where I’ve thought of you as just a friend, El,” I muttered before brushing past her to grab the peanut butter and bread from the cupboard. “But okay.”
I couldfeelthe way Ellie sucked in as I lingered beside her—like she was sucking me in, too. It took everything in me to resist the pull, the proximity, the smell of her cherry blossom perfume, but I managed to step back, food in hand, and found Ellie blinking up at me, her lips parting and eyes darting around my face. I could tell she was flustered, and I knew it was my fault. I was poking too much, blurting too much, but I didn’t know how tonot.
“You know what I mean,” Ellie huffed.
“Yeah,” I said dryly and tried to focus on the goddamn sandwich I was making her. I was starting to suspect she hadn’t eaten a single fucking thing today.
But then I froze, dropping the peanut butter jar and bread bag on the counter as terror seized my body, a thought striking me.
I’d been worried that Eleanor had come back because her mom was sick, but what ifshewas? What if she wanted to live across the street from her mom becauseshewasn’t doing well and wanted to be close to family? What if she wanted to be inMinnesota because of the proximity to the Mayo Clinic, one of the best medical networks in the world? What if?—
“Here’s a knife.”
I blinked, finding Ellie holding a butter knife out for me, and I shook myself out of my thought spiral.
“Thanks.”
Silence settled over the kitchen after that, aside from the chime of my dad’s old grandfather clock that sat behind the chipped farmhouse table, and I focused on making the sandwich—peanut butter, no jelly. Ellie didn’t like jelly.
When I put it on a plate and slid it across the counter to her, I tried really hard not to stare until she took a tentative bite of the food.
She was nibbling.
Ellie didn’tnibble.
I clutched the edge of the counter.
What thefuckwas going on?
“Is everything okay?”
I had to ask.
I had to know.
She nodded and then seemed to take a bigger bite of the sandwich—either to give an excuse not to reply to me or to prove that there wasn’t anything wrong with it. Or her.
