But even more than that, I wanted him to know that he didn’t need to convince me of anything. Iknewhe was good for a lot of things. So many things. I knew how badly he wanted to help, and I suspected it was hurting him not to.
“I know,” I promised, holding his gaze. Luckily, he was blocking the onslaught of the sun now, but it meant his face was shadowed, and I couldn’t get a good read on it. I hoped he could see mine better, see the truth in my eyes. “Thank you for bringing dinner. I’ll pay you back.”
“Pay me back?” He straightened, holding out his hand to help me off the porch step. “The fuck you will.”
“I have a big girl job,” I told him, even while taking his hand and pretending the skin-to-skin contact wasn’t burning me more than the sun had been. “I can pay for myself.”
“I’m aware,” he said, but there was something about his voice. Something…bitter. “I’m well aware of your big girl job and your big girl degree and all the things you went off and did—” He cut himself off, thank God, because every word had been a knife in my chest. “But I have a big boy job, too. And what the hell do you think my mother would say if she found out I’d gotten a girl pregnant and then wasn’t paying for her goddamndinner, Eleanor?”
That got a small smile out of me. Itwasfunny to imagine—Anne’s reaction.
“You’re still just a little afraid of her, aren’t you?”
Sully gave me a look. “And you’re not?” Then he shook his head. “Of course you’re not.”
He was smiling now. Well, almost. It was more like a faint quirk of his lips, but I was going to take it.
“Well, thank you,” I said, giving in. If he wanted to pay for my tacos, he could pay for the tacos. “For dinner.”
He nodded and gave a wary look at the house behind me.
“Do you want to go for a drive?” he asked after a long moment. “In my car, not yours. I don’t trust yours. Maybe we could stop to eat at Winwood Park. Then head to the pharmacy.”
I nodded because, yeah, some fresh air away from Maple Street sounded good.
Sully led the way to his jeep and opened the door for me when we reached it, giving an over-the-top whirring motion with his hand as if to say, “After you, milady.” I shot him a little eye roll because he was being ridiculous. All week, he’d been a bit ridiculous. With the tacos, and the car, and the utilities in the basement, and then last night, when he texted me a link toThe Hobbiton audio since I wouldn’t let him stay for a bedtime story.
I didn’t really mind, though. It was nice, essentially getting the girlfriend treatment again. But I had to keep reminding myself that he was only doing it because of the baby, which almost made me feel like I’d cheated my way back into his life.
Sully was unusually quiet when he got in the car, his hands flexing on the wheel as he chewed on his bottom lip. I wanted to ask what he was thinking but wasn’t sure he would tell me anyway.
Before I knew it, we’d made it to Winwood, a lakeside preserve that staged the great capture-the-flag battle in the summer of 2016, among other things. But I specifically remember that summer and how Sully and I had been no help to the rest of the neighborhood, given that we’d hidden in the slide on the playground and made out the whole time.
There would be no making out today, and I tried not to look at the playground as Sully parked the car and rolled open the windows and sunroof so the breeze could sift through the otherwisestifling air. The lake sparkled just beyond the dashboard, catching the light of the sun as it lowered in the sky.
I unbuckled, and Sully stared at the seat belt in my hand for a long moment, as though he wanted to tug it back over my body despite us sitting in an unmoving vehicle. But then he unfroze to grab a paper bag from the back seat, opening it to hand over a foil-wrapped taco that I knew to be the best taco in the world.
“I got all the sauces you like,” he declared and then set them on the center console, carefully unlidding them. It was a disaster waiting to happen, but I didn’t interrupt.
“Thank you,” I said and meant it. “This is the first thing that has looked and sounded appetizing all day.”
“It would be tragic if the baby took away your love for tacos.”
I laughed lightly. “It would be.”
I bit into the cheesy, meaty goodness and couldn’t help a moan from escaping when the flavors mixed and the hint of lime hit my taste buds. Yep, this was what I needed. This waseverythingI’d ever needed and more.
Preparing for another bite, I dove into the selection of toppings, smothering my taco with a salsa that, if I remembered correctly, was like heaven on Earth.
I did—remember correctly. Another unavoidable throaty noise of appreciation slipped out of me as I practically bounced in my seat with childlike excitement.
“Good, El?” Sully muttered, and I straightened from the slight hunch I’d been in as I coveted my taco. My eyes flew to my ex-boyfriend, who I’d actually forgotten was there for a second, and then I swallowed, nodding as I licked my lips.
Sully’s gaze dropped to them and lingered.
“Yes,” I admitted, and then licked my lips again, afraid that there was salsa on them since Sully was still staring at my mouth.
He wrenched his gaze away, briefly letting it meet mine. Then he looked up, staring out the sunroof. I followed his gaze, watching the branches rustle above as squirrels bounced from one tree to the next.
