“You’re not. Not ever.”
I sat up, scooting my body on my hammock to better face him. “It’s because I can’t be. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.”
“I wanna be like you, though.”
“A freak?” I joked. I’d long stopped believing I was a freak or a monster. Gideon had made sure to drill that into my head.
“Nothing can stop you. You’re indestructible.”
“Matteo, you and I both know that’s not true. If you get hurt, you feel it, seek attention, get help. If I don’t know about it, sometimes it could be too late by the time I realize.”
“Is that why my mom makes you get those X-rays?”
I snorted. “Yes. She’s relentless.”
“Still, it would be cool not to feel fear, though.”
I shrugged. “The ability to feel fear triggers your fight-or-flight reflex, and sometimes flight is the safer option. I don’t always make the right decisions because of my inability to be afraid.”
“I dunno…I still think you’re fire.”
“And I think you’re fire too.”
Matteo snorted. “It sounds so weird when you try to sound like me.”
“Shut up. I sound dope!”
He rolled his eyes. “Stop, please.”
“Nope. Never. Now I will torment you forever.”
He was quiet again, his eyes back on the sky, so I relaxed in my hammock. Birds flew overhead, and autumn smells begin to mix with the breeze. October would be here in a week, and I loved decorating the house for Halloween.
“How’s school?”
“Fine.”
Typical response. “Make any new friends?”
He sighed. “I already have friends.”
“I know that, dork, I meant have you made any new ones?”
Matteo gasped. “You wound me with your words.” He cackled but eventually answered me. “There’s a new kid I started talking to—seems nice.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“He’s older, though, but like, he’s sort of awkward, you know? I saw him at lunch eating alone, so I sat with him. He’s all right.”
“That was nice of you.”
He brushed the compliment off. “Being the new kid is hard. But now a couple of us sit with him at lunch. He’s quiet mostly, but I can tell he likes that he’s not alone. His sister is in one of my classes, he said, but she’s the opposite of him.”
“Popular?”
“Oh my God, yes. Kind of obnoxious. Crazy how they’re related.”
“Your birthday is at the end of the month; you should invite him to whatever party your mother makes you have.”
