Colt hasn’t brought up my leaving for several weeks, but I know it’s on his mind. I don’t have my details ironed out yet. Jesse wasn’t opposed to my idea, but asked for time to consider my suggestion and get back to me. My savings are decent. One positive thing about my last relationship, if that’s what you want to call it, is that he paid for everything. I banked most of my earnings from that time, and they’ll definitely come in handy now.
Colt bites at his lip. “Um, about that. I was thinking about…” He clears his throat and drops his gaze to the table. “I’ve been pretty obvious, I think, letting you know how much you’ve changed my life. At least I hope I have.”
“Not always obvious, but I know.” Colt isn’t big on words, and I think that’s one of his best qualities. Just because he hasn’t spoken the words doesn’t mean I don’t feel them in everything he does for me.
He nods and takes another drink. “I’ve been thinking about you. About life and stuff.” His warm gaze meets mine, and in that very moment, I know I’m riding the damn bull tonight, and with more certainty, I know I’m head over heels in love with this man.
“Sounds serious,” I tease, and when he doesn’t laugh or smile back, my heart sinks. “Colt?”
“I know you’re a city guy, and I’ve been trying to find something I could do in a city. Even if it’s like…in the winter when the ranch is slow or something. I’ve not been successful with that yet, but I want you to know I’m trying.”
My mouth drops open. “How come you’ve never said anything?”
Laurel arrives at that moment and places our burgers in front of us. “Bull starts after happy hour. I hope to see your name, Ethan.” She winks and leaves as fast as she arrived, and Colt’s soft smile returns.
“You’re not the only one needing courage, Ethan. Eat your burger.”
“You’d actually leave here? For me?”
Colt keeps his gaze on the table and adds ketchup to the bottom of his burger. It’s never the top because he doesn’t think ketchup should touch cheese.
He clears his throat, and it’s then I notice I’ve been holding my breath waiting for his answer, because what if I show all my cards and he’s not as invested as me?
“I think I’d do just about anything you need me to do, Ethan.” He takes a bite of his burger, and even though I’m hungry, it’s hard to eat when I feel like we’re on the edge of something big.
Colt loves cheeseburgers, though, and it seems his appetite isn’t affected like mine until he finally sets his down with a sigh. “Maybe it’s the wrong place and time to tell you this, but since I met you, I’ve realized a lot of things.” Colt reaches across the table with his palm up and a small smile. After sliding my hand into his, he continues.
“My life is adequate, comfortable, and fulfilling. All good things, but it’s you who makes it extraordinary. Do you remember the first time we met? You asked me what I think makes a cowboy.”
“Yes. I remember. I teased you that you didn’t wear a cowboy hat, and you actually thought about the question. I liked that about you.”
“Liked what?”
“That you really thought about the answer and didn’t just roll off some canned answer to me.”
Colt smiles and dips his head. “I often overthink, but your question made me think about the answer more than I ever have before. A cowboy protects what’s in their care and often sacrifices their comfort to ensure that happens. That’s just how it is, you know? We’re not just guides on a trail ride. We’re stewards of the animals and people in our care.”
Colt exhales and finally brings his gaze to mine. “Of all the people I’ve met and guided, you’re the first one who really made me see that’s what we do. It’s what I do.”
“I noticed. You’re always very attentive to everything around you. I thought it was just you avoiding conversation at first.” We both laugh softly, and Colt squeezes my hand.
“It probably was most times, but Ethan…I’d sacrifice my comfortable life and push a little out of my zone because I’m in love with you. I think I have been for a while and didn’t realize it until I found myself on my laptop searching job sites and wondering how I could be with you somewhere other than here.”
“Colt…”
My mouth goes dry, along with my words.
“I understand if that’s too much for you to hear, but it’s true. I don’t want to wake up without you one day, when there can be a solution if I step out of my town. Your work is in the city, and I can’t expect you to just forget all about that and park yourself here.”
“Fuck…this is…” I swallow hard and let his words sink in. “I might have already found a solution to stay.” Colt’s lips part with a surprised huff. “I didn’t want to say anything in case it didn’t work out. You leaving never felt like an option. I don’t want to wake up without you either, Colt. I love you too. So much it scares me sometimes because I’m thinking of riding a mechanical bull to impress you.”
Colt laughs and removes his hand from mine. “Let’s eat. Then we clearly need to talk more, but not until you ride the bull.”
“Ha! I did it!”
Colt grabs the T-shirt from my hand and laughs. It’s just a mass-produced shirt with the saloon logo and‘I rode the bull at Saddle Up Saloon, and all I got was this lousy T-shirt’across the front. It might be just a shirt, but to me it means so much.
“Are you gonna wear it at the ranch tomorrow?”
