I prepare my sales pitch. “I think you’ll need someone who isn’t fragile. Who can handle long stretches of time on the road and can be ready to support you as you undertake this important business trip. My sister is very young, sir, and she has a delicate temperament. I’m afraid she wouldn’t be up to long journeys, and I believe she would pine for her homeand her friends. Traveling to distant places, far from all she knows, would never suit her.”
I glance at Evie, silently apologizing for belittling her like this, not that she cares. That devastated look has returned to her face, knowing she’s watching me sacrifice myself yet unable to stop it.
“I believed that my marrying days were past me,” I continue, giving Hathwell what I hope is a charming smile. “But if a steadfast companion is truly what you desire—” I stumble, needing to swallow before I can force the words out. “Then I would like to offermyhand instead to pay my father’s debts. I assure you, Mr. Reed, you won’t regret it.”
Hathwell takes all this in with his steady blue gaze. That smile continues to tug at his lips, and he looks pleased, maybe a littletoopleased. I don’t know why, but it makes me uneasy. “No, I don’t believe I would, Miss Polaris,” he says.
“Nathaniel!” Ada’s shriek cuts through the moment, making us all jump. “You can’t let her do this! We had it all arranged. She can’t just…ugh!” Ada sets her teacup down with a crash, words failing her again.
I meet my father’s eye, seeing him hesitate before answering.
“Please,” I murmur, willing him to see this is the best option. This is his chance to do right by one of his daughters for once in his life.
“Very well,” he says. “If you’re amenable, Mr. Reed, do you accept Leah’s proposition?”
Hathwell turns back to me, his smile breaking into a full grin. “I do.”
Chapter 5
Leah
The carriage jolts over an uneven piece of road, jostling my hands in my lap. I look down at the tight gold band I’ve been twisting around my finger over and over, as if I might be able to rub it out of existence.
Married.
I can hardly believe it. Six more months, maybe a year, and Evie and I would’ve been set. And now?
I glance at where Hathwell sits beside me, the man I’m legally bound to—perhaps for the rest of my life. As soon as we left the courthouse and climbed inside the carriage, he loosened the tightly knotted cravat around his neck and removed his jacket. Perhaps he was suffering under the stifling pressure of the vows we just made too.
Except he looks…happy, excited even. His eyes are bright, and he drums an absentminded rhythm with his fingers against his thigh.
I study him not for the first time, trying to read the man who might be lurking beneath the elegant gentleman’s clothes and good manners—the son of a mill owner, a widower,my husband. I try not to blanch at that last thought, especially as he catches me looking and offers me a small smile.
“It’s not far now,” he says. “My father wanted me to buy property near the mill like him, but I couldn’t take the noise and the smoke. I much prefer this part of town. I hope you’ll like it too.”
I don’t see how I could ever regard it as anything but a cage, the ring on my finger just another link in the chains now binding me. But I can’t say that. At least, not until I have better measure of this man. I cast about for something appropriately bland instead.
“I was sorry to see your parents couldn’t make it to the ceremony,” I say. It’s an outright lie. I’m glad there were barely any witnesses; it meant fewer people I had to pretend for. In fact, aside from the two of us and the officiant, the only ones there were Ada, my father, and Evie. My stepmother draped her resentment in a smile, still furious I’d managed to steal this lucrative match from her daughter. My father looked tired and distracted, while I had to give Evie a stern talking-to before we entered the courthouse so she didn’t sob all the way through.
She alone understood why I was doing this. She was also the only one who understood how hard it was for me. It was why she’d spent every day since I offered myself up to Hathwell trying to talk me out of it. She told me a hundred times it wasn’t my job to save her, certainly not by dooming myself in the process. But she couldn’t see that it’s more than a fair exchange. Evie, so good and kind hearted and undamaged by the world, must be protected. Whereas me…I scavenge and lie and scheme and…worse. Much, much worse.
If one of us has to pay the price for our father’s mistakes, it should be me.
When I thought of it that way, it was an easy choice to make, as was giving Evie all the scavenging money I dug up from the garden. There’s enough there for her to buy a single fake guild license, but even now I worry she won’t use it. I tried to tell her not to wait around for this Jeremy to marry her—it’s not safe to rely on anyone else but me. I only hope she listens and gets away before it’s too late. She can only hide her pregnancy from Ada’s sharp eyes for so long.
Hathwell shrugs, dismissive. “They’re busy with their travels,” he says vaguely. “There’ll be time enough to meet them later. And it’s better for a marriage to start out without others around to get in the way, don’t youthink? I’m looking forward to getting to know my new wife.” He reaches out as if to touch my cheek.
I lean back, and he politely drops his hand, smiling at me in that apologetic way again. At least he can read basic body language, which is more than a lot of men I’ve met. There’ve been a few scavengers who’ve required a more direct translation to get the message I’m sending. A well-placed kick or a couple of broken fingers usually does it.
Then there’s the ones who I wanted to send a very different kind of message, and no amount of veiled invitations or subtle hints would get through to them. Hodges used to make fun of me when I was trying to get a man’s attention. He said I flirted like a cat who didn’t want a human to suspect it actually liked them, but who kept suspiciously turning up within arm’s reach looking haughty.
I adapted my approach soon after that, which led to a few satisfying flings, aided, of course, by the contraceptive herbs Evie wasn’t careful enough with. But I couldn’t allow them to be anything more. Not when attachment could so quickly transform into something dangerous, something that tied me down when I was already trying to cut myself loose.
Sweet Tenebrous, what have I gotten myself into? “There it is,” Hathwell leans over to point out the window on my side of the carriage. “The one with the purple trees out front.”
They’re cotinus shrubs actually, but I don’t bother identifying them for him. I’m too busy taking in the tall townhouse built with reddish brick and grand bow windows. It’s smart, modern. The kind of place you might build as a young man who wants the world to sit up and take you seriously.
The carriage pulls up and Hathwell helps me down with an outstretched hand. What follows is a bit of a blur. I get a house tour where Hathwell chatters on about various renovations he’s made to the place. I see everything except Hathwell’s study, which he informs me is his private space, and I meet the servants—a footman, cook, and housemaid. None of them live-in.
