“Tomorrow morning.” Vizmodeus glances up at the ourani. “I mean, today. In about twelve hours.”
I try to keep my face blank, as if this means nothing to me, as if Syrus’s possession of me hasn’t apparently altered my mind so much that it can translate the demon’s language without trying. Is it the start of the deterioration I’ve been waiting for?
“Fine,” Syrus replies as a wave of anxiety squeezes my insides. “We knew they’d have something to say about it eventually.”
Viz runs a bony hand through his disheveled hair. “They obviously want to put you on the back foot with the short notice, but it gets better.”
“What could be better than the other three lords of Infernum being so pissed with me they’re willing to be in the same room together?” Syrus asks sarcastically.
Viz sighs. It’s a stressed, weary sound. “They’re coming to Malice.”
Chapter 19
Syrus
Ipace the length of the castle’s great hall, waiting for Quill to announce the arrival of the first lord. I’m impatient more than tense. I bought myself a few weeks suspending the snare deals without notifying them, but I knew it was only a matter of time before one of them got wind and had something to say about it.
Viz sits at a table in the corner, scribbling down notes. He glances at me as I pass by.
“Have you decided how much you’re going to tell them yet?” he asks.
I grunt in response, partly because that’s dependent on how much vagueness they’ll accept, and partly because my mind isn’t really on the upcoming meeting. Normally, Aster—and even sometimes Viz—begs me to think about something other than my duties, and I know I should be steeling myself for what’s to come. It’s never exactlyfriendlywhen the rulers of Infernum all get together, but I can’t stop my mind wandering. And lately, it always wanders to the same place—Leah.
It doesn’t make sense, this space she takes up in my thoughts when I barely know anything about the woman. Except I feel like Idoknow her. Slowly and surely, she’s been dropping crumbs that I snap up like some pathetic, starving animal: That her mother passed away. That she wanted to be abotanist once. That sometimes she moans in very interesting ways when she’s training.
And yet there’s still so many questions I badly want the answer to.
Like what—orwho—was she thinking about when her hand was between her legs last night? What sound would she have made when she came undone, breathless and satisfied, if I hadn’t interrupted her?
Of course, I had no idea what I was intruding on when I first slid into her mind. But her flustered response had me making a closer inspection, and then I felt it—the fire lighting up her nerves, the liquid heat pooling at her core. It gripped me too, like a jolt of lightning passing through me, and I was up and on my feet without even thinking.
I came to my senses on the way to her room, thank darkness. Her arguing with me strangely helped, cooling the madness that tugged on me like a leash to her door. I’ve chalked it up to the bond, the way its magic intertwines our senses and consciousness, eroding our boundaries. Like that moment in training when I entered her mind as our skin touched. It had sparked something feral and dangerous in me, a closeness so intense it was like I could feel her undermyskin rather than the other way around. With it came a terrifying hunger for more.
It must be why I had to fight not to do something insane when I first saw her in the dress Aster put her in for their night out. It was only by keeping my eyes glued to anything other than her that I controlled the urge to touch her. In the end, I had to walk away, realizing it was probably best Aster take her out of the castle for a few hours so I could get a hold of myself.
And still, I couldn’t resist visiting her mind while she was in the city. That was a mistake too, only stoking the feral thing awakening inside me when that cockroach tried to seduce her.
Yet none if it was as disturbing as what she managed to do next.
“Something happened last night,” I say to Viz. He lifts his head, raising a silvery eyebrow.
“Is that why I found you two alone in the garden?” he asks. I try not to read anything into the fact he immediately knows I’m talking about Leah.
“No,” I respond, too abruptly. “I don’t mean that.”
“Good, because I hope I don’t need to point out the issue with getting too involved, given she’s not exactly a willing visitor to Malice.” He says it lightly, his eyes on the parchment, obviously trying not to offend. And still, I’m offended.
“Of course not,” I reply, turning away. That’s why I’ll fight whatever side effects the link between us throws at me, no matter how strong the pull. Our deal is about her helping me go to Strata. I won’t ask for anything more—I don’twantto—not when she might feel she has no choice in the matter. Despite whatever hungry thing is stirring within me, that thought repels me.
“I’m talking about something that happened while I was possessing her,” I explain. “She pushed me out.”
Viz’s quill pauses. “What?”
“She managed to eject me from her mind. Once when she was in the city, and again when I was speaking to her in her room. Both times, she acted like nothing had happened. Which means she either doesn’t realize what she’s doing or is pretending that she doesn’t.”
“I didn’t think—” Viz drops his quill, shaking his head. “She’s not supposed to be able to do that.”
“Exactly,” I say, and we share a meaningful look.
